It's been a busy week and I didn't make time to blog. (I made time to talk to you and read to you, though!) I could have, one can always make time for things, but I didn't. No B, it's been another busy week in the glamorous world of hi-tech marketing and public relations – many new clients coming onboard soon. It's also been a busy baby week since last week's shower. What did you think of all those different vibes?
For the past month I've been experiencing computer problems, hi-tech hiccups that impact performance dramatically. And yesterday the blue screen of death as they affectionately call it (who's they, B?) hit me four times in less than two hours. You could say I was concerned.
But not stressed. In fact, I took the opportunity to reflect, call my folks and my nephew, and daydream of a life with you and Mama A. (Of course I had my hand iPhone to check e-mail and such. Who needs business productivity software when I've got the PhoneSaber?)
Not sure what I'll need to do with my laptop yet. However, I'm sure about love, forgiveness and acceptance.
What the heck does my computer problems have to do with love and forgiveness and acceptance? Work with me here, B.
I'm listening to a podcast from This American Life (a public radio series I highly recommend – if it's still around when you're old enough) about two babies switched at birth, and 43 years later the truth of what happens comes out and it's pretty heavy for both families (who knew each other).
The catch is that one of the mothers knew they took the wrong baby home, brought it to her husband's attention, an evangelical minister, and he told her that they shouldn't say anything as to not to disgrace their doctor.
Granted It was 1951, but still hard to believe. Forty-three years later when the truth was told, it was devastating for both families. I'm still listening to it so I don't know the conclusion yet and where the families are now.
Can you imagine? And what about our perception of the facts as presented to the listeners of the show? The show does do a really good job of revealing both sides of the stories, but stories, like us, are more multi-faceted than two-sided, so it's difficult to judge indiscriminately. Plus the fact we can be selfish in our evaluation of others, how we see them aligns with our world view and how close the person is to us. We delude ourselves into thinking our way is the only way (yes, we're guilty as well).
Your mama and I have been seen in different light over the years, and while it used to bother me more than it should, it fascinates me now. One of us controls the other, we don't' like each other's friends or family, we're selfish for not having children, we're selfish for having children, we're arrogant because we're happy - blah, blah, blah.
It's flatulent garbage that comes from the fear of the way we've chosen to live our lives – happy and direct and true to our hearts without secret or shame. We're a team and always have been. I've made mistakes just as she has and we're going to make them as parents as well.
However, there will be no switched-at-birth secrets for us, B. But you already know that, because that's why you're on your way. God's will is to be responsible and heal the heart and home, not to surrender and feed the fear and the foolhardy. It took a long time for me to get here, but I'm glad your mama waited for me by the sea...
That which you manifest is before you. You reap what you sow. Be mindful of each moment lived within and without. Not everyone has the emotional or spiritual capacity to feel these; there are multi-faceted reasons we'll never understand.
So B, after you strip away the day from a busy week and a broken laptop all you have left is love, forgiveness and acceptance.
I love you and will see you soon!
Well I guess we all have these feelings
We can't leave unreconciled
Some of them burned on our ceilings
Some of them learned as a child
The things that we're concealing
Will never let us grow
Time will do its healing
You've got to let it go
I find no absolution
In my rational point of view
Maybe some things are instinctive
But there's one thing you could do
You could try to understand me --
I could try to understand you...