The road to fatherhood began abysmally for me – from abusive biological father, to abusive first step-father, to self-abusive anxiety-ridden depressive teenager (me), to self-abusive anxiety-ridden depressive young adult (again, yours truly), to self-abusive anxiety-ridden depressive angry resentful deceptive longed to be liked poor excuse for a contradictive man and husband (marriage #1), to brooding on the brink of finally mastering control of my life with a pre-Mama A saying stand up and get it together or get out.
Stand up and get it together. Get off the ground. Let go the legacy of anger and fear. Have hope. Have faith.
(No worries, I've always had a good heart, there were good times along the way, and I had good father I'll talk about in one of my next postings).
Which is why The Road by Cormac McCarthy had such a profound effect on me last year when we listened to the audio book during our Southwest trip (and I just found out it's going to be a move this year). It was one of those defining moments that filled our hearts with choice.
WARNING - For those of you who haven't read it and plan to, do not read on because I've got a spoiler coming.
The Road is a post-apocalyptic story of a father and young son trying to survive a horrific world gone mad while traveling on a road to the coast, a road of hope. Sadly when they reach the coast and can't find any civilized civilization to speak of, hope is all but lost. The father is very ill and dies, leaving the boy alone.
Then, out of the darkness, a man offers his help to the boy. The man tells the boy he needs to come with them, because they can help him. The boy is resistant; he doesn't want to leave his dead father and he's unsure of the man's motives.
"Are you one of the good guys?" The boy asks.
"Yes, I'm one of the good guys," the man answers.
The boy takes his hand and they walk off.
Stand up and get it together. Get off the ground. Let go the legacy of anger and fear. Have hope. Have faith.
Be one of the good guys.
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