God bless my little Supergirl Bea. She gets me.

What a week post Father's Day. If I ever needed the right gumption, this was one of those weeks, and thankfully, I had the right gumption and the right ear to bend.

It actually started the Friday before with a tough business decision that bled into ghosts of family estrangement past on Father's Day itself, to a visit with a dear old friend with AIDS, to a break-up of another dear friend's marriage, to a good neighbor's foreclosure, to an even more difficult business decision, to my mother's ever-deteriorating health, to now having to leave my family for a few days to attend this year's SHRM conference in New Orleans' happy summertime convection oven (that'll be good for the skin).

Nothing that daddy can't handle, right? Especially with it all piling up on my daddy daycare day. I spilled it all to Beatrice yesterday afternoon while we basked in the backyard summer sun, Bea bouncing happily in her outdoor bouncy and eating a dirty yellow blow-up ball (hey, a little dirt never hurt me and Mama growing up).

She shrieked, drooled and bounced; she gets me. Her single lower inciser smile could heal the maimed and stop runaway trains in less time than it takes me to digest adult-sized angst.

God bless my little Supergirl Bea.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

The Baby Eclipse and Date Night Reborn

When God created baby, she eclipsed the sun and moon.

Sometimes the world grows cold.

Even for the most prepared of parents, having a baby means never being quite prepared. It means spending most of your time caring for baby, and less and less time caring for each other (and on yourself, especially if you're a single parent). It means less adult intimacy and more baby poop.

Don't get me wrong – I love my baby B and Mama A. But before A + K = B there was only A + K = K + A and that equaled hot-as-a-firecracker-on-the-fourth-of-July love (as my Grandpa used to say, usually referring to his coffee, not his unending love of Grandma). We traveled the world, went out to dinner whenever we wanted, worked out whenever we wanted, watched whatever we wanted, read whatever we wanted, kept decorative but dangerous household items laying around wherever we wanted, took baths together whenever we wanted and had sex whenever (and wherever) we wanted. Date night occurred every week with passionate regularity.

We never wanted children and we were deemed selfish because of it. Evangelical philosophy aside, I'll never understand that one.

However, we changed our minds and the judgments of others turned into redemption and revelry. That's not why we had a child, to receive redemption. No, we did it because together we chose to have a child and start a family.

We're heading into month six with baby and for the most part we're doing great. But recently we hit a speed bump going to fast without watching the road signs.

Mama and I share all responsibilities including those with baby, and we're fortunate to both have jobs and a baby-care person during the week, but it's true that Mama gets most of the home baby care (and she has the breasts to prove it). Last weekend that didn't work out so well and we were both feeling our roles and responsibilities were skewed and underappreciated, especially me. I never thought I'd become the jealous husband/father of my own wife's time (and my own), but I did. All my mindful living and adult maturity was strong-armed by impotent-rage-man I used to be and I completely shut down. Just an angry knot on a rotting log fuming in a stinky bog. Mr. Butthead with bells on.

How attractive is that? Not very and I was pretty ashamed of my reaction. We worked it out though, because we always do (all work and no play makes for dull parents) – that's what true love is, and realized that we need to "make" more hot-as-a-firecracker-on-the-fourth-of-July-love time for each other again.

It's time for date night to burst from nothingness like a birthed star, this weekend to be exact (or date afternoon; it's the date part that counts). Poetically I've always referred to Amy as my sun and I her moon, but we have to realign our orbits since we now revolve around baby who solely depends on our gravities push and pull.

When God created baby, she eclipsed the sun and moon and then took a nap.

Sometimes the world makes time for us.

By the way, I just joined Dad-Blogs.com (http://dad-blogs.com/) and I'm glad I'm in the Fatherhood Friday mix!

Daddy K watches Baby B (Mama A goes back to work)

Here it is, Mama's first big day back to work:

3:00 a.m. – Mama feeds Baby. Daddy stirs. We all go back to sleep.

4:00 a.m. – Cat meows and howls in between us in bed (as usual). Daddy and Mama swat cat. Baby sleeps soundly. Daddy tosses.

4:45 a.m. – Cat meows and howls again on the box below the bed she uses to climb up and down. Daddy sprays her with the water bottle.

5:00 a.m. – Daddy gives up and gets out of bed so Mama and Baby can sleep.

5:15 a.m. – Daddy fiddles and writes and does other online nonsense.

7:00 a.m. – Mama and baby wake up.

7:00 a.m. – Baby's fed and changed.

8:00 a.m. – Daddy watches Baby and eats breakfast while Mama gets ready for work.

8:30 a.m. – Baby's fed and changed again.

8:40 a.m. – Baby goes down for a nap and mama leaves for work, a little emotional but intact. Daddy smiles and kisses her. Everything's going to be fine.

9:15 a.m. – Baby wakes up from nap and all is well. Change Baby then read to her: Oh, the places you'll go, Go Dog. Go! and 10 little ladybugs. Then we watched some of Sesame Street. (I was a baby again myself – sucked in and totally focused on the letter "M" for many monsters. Sweet. The show is great.)

10:30 a.m. – Baby fusses, cries and gets hungry – the bottle attempt fails, however.

10:45 a.m. – Calm Baby down and take her upstairs to sleep in one of her swings while I shower. Change Baby.

11:00 a.m. – Baby naps.

11:15 a.m. – Cat comes downstairs and meows.

11:45 a.m. – Baby wakes, fusses, cries, gets really hungry and then magic: I gently talk with her about drinking from the bottle and how happy she'll be once she eats – wallah – Baby drinks almost entire bottle! Happy success!

12:15 p.m. – Change Baby then watch more Sesame Street with her.

12:45 p.m. – Mama comes home for lunch.

1:30 p.m. – Baby's fed and changed. Mama puts her down for a nap and goes back to work.

3:45 p.m. – Baby wakes and is changed. Daddy takes Baby out for a stroll along the water.

4:30 p.m. – Daddy changes the Baby and attempts to feed her the bottle again – and again success!

5:00 p.m. – Cat comes downstairs and meows. It's time for her dinner. Daddy feeds the cat then reads Baby I love you through and through.

5:30 p.m. – Mama comes home from work, kisses Daddy and Baby. Everybody's happy!

All is well in Daddy-ville. Goodnight.