The K files: What not to do when your better half is 9 months pregnant

Never in a million years would I have done this (but it's still funny).

We wait for B now. Tap, tap, tap…

The Empire of Mama A Pokes Back

We’re two months and change out from Baby B’s grand entrance, and man is he/she getting pushing. Really. And pokey. And proddy (is that even a word?).

Baby B’s pushing up on Mama A’s stomach and that’s causing a bit of heartburn. Not much, but enough to be noticed and enough for some calcium-rich Tums (shameless product placement).

Amy’s been very fortunate to date with limited problems during pregnancy. I’m quite happy about that as well. (Pssst – I’ll tell you a hormonal story or two sometime.)

When Baby B is in an awkward position (which will get worse, we know), pushing hard on either side, bladder or ribs, Mama A pokes back!

In a very loving way, of course. I like talking into the belly and poking as well.

Tomorrow night, the next midwife appointment transpires…more on that later.

Mama A in Babe-ylonia

We watched Saturday Night Live's the best of Mike Myers that aired last Saturday night, and they showed the old skit of Wayne's World doing their top ten babes of all time that culminated in the silly black and white Madonna dream.

Excellent.

And you know who's number one on my top ten list? A beautiful pregnant woman. That I'm married to. Preg-schwing.

Something about the pregnant belly that's so mesmerizing; everyone wants to touch and kiss it, like the woman is a fertility goddess (which she is) and her worshippers need to be blessed by her presence and the unborn child's.

Ah, the days of Babe-ylonia…

Drumming from the inside

I lay next to her and stroke her stomach

that glows taut like a drum head over a star,

where dust swirls with omniscient purpose

and planets form and life explodes with a bang.

It grows, writhing and spinning

and drumming from the inside --

antediluvian signals that it's

coming to our world someday soon.

It's distant drumbeats echo through my hand

and resound in my heart, full of love.