Keep America Free and Just

What's happening in America has weighed on my heart and my family's, so I wrote an open letter to our federally elected officials that I plan on sending to as many as I can, even to those who don't represent our region and my state. 

There are those Representatives and Senators who do oppose the authoritarian overreach happening in Minneapolis and elsewhere, but it still feels like no one is stopping it. 

And for the safety of all American citizens, stop it we must. Let's keep America free and just. 

***

Dear Representative/Senator [Last Name],

It's with a heavy heart that I'm contacting you. The DHS federal enforcement of immigration policies in the United States of America has become extremely dangerous to undocumented immigrants, legally documented immigrants, and every American citizen. 

Most Americans would agree that we should arrest and prosecute criminals, but it's clear what the federal government is doing goes far beyond that mandate. U.S. citizens are being harassed, pepper sprayed, beaten, and arrested as if they were criminals. It has become a literal fear and shakedown campaign to suppress our 1st amendment rights to gather and protest peacefully. Calling state elected officials and protestors alike domestic terrorists allows the federal government to escalate, arrest U.S. citizens, and unfortunately hurt and/or kill them. Witness accounts (and video proof) of the killings of Renee Good and Alex Pretti contradict that of federal law enforcement, border patrol, and ICE agents. But it's the federal government continues to insist they are enforcing the law and those protesting are violating it. 

This isn't the first time federal law enforcement overreach has jeopardized the safety of American citizens. There's been: The Whiskey Rebellion (1794), Enforcement of the Fugitive Slave Act (1850s), The Pullman Strike (1894), The Bonus Army (1932), Civil Rights & Antiwar Protests (1960s–70s), and Post-9/11 Policing. 

And now this. Throughout our history, there have been times when local communities and local law enforcement have needed the assistance of federal law enforcement, but not today, at least not in the way it's being deployed. We don't need thousands of masked ICE agents terrorizing the streets of America. Families like ours fear that what is happening in Minneapolis is spreading into everyone's neighborhoods, and then none of us will be safe, especially those of us who speak up and out against this authoritarian abuse of power. No more due process for anyone. Just cruelty, fear, and oppression.

Millions of Americans want you to do everything you can to stop these violent actions against our citizens, legal immigrants, and undocumented immigrants, who most are doing what they can to make a better life for themselves and their families. These actions are not making us safer as a nation, just more fearful and unstable.

The United States of America has become unrecognizable. It's time our elected officials recognize this, work together regardless of political ideology, and do something about it. As a U.S. citizen, a husband, and a father of two, I implore you to help end this dystopian madness.

Sincerely,

Kevin Grossman

Another Mile Marker

 "...Wind

In my hair

Shifting and drifting

Mechanical music

Adrenaline surge..."

–Rush, Red Barchetta

When I turned 16, I couldn't wait to drive. The freedom of it. Driving to and from school. Cruising the main strip. Cranking up the rock and roll and speeding down a country road. I knew it was a much different mode of transportation than riding a bike or walking, always being a passenger up until then, but there was something transformative about driving myself and others around.

I didn't understand the full responsibility of driving until many years after I got my driver's license. That makes sense; most kids don't fully grasp the potential dangers of driving around a 4,000-pound machine moving at 60+ mph. Or even 10 mph. 

I couldn't wait. Back when I was in high school, driver's training was still offered as a class, complete with all the bloody accident videos explaining the dangers of driving under the influence. A scared-straight approach, which at the time, worked for me. At least until after high school. 

But not every kid is excited to drive when they turn 16. And that's okay. Our oldest Beatrice was like that, thinking about driving, but not ready to do it just yet. Instead, taking the city bus sometimes or riding my e-bike that I never ride. She went from no interest in driving to some interest to studying and studying for her driver's permit.

And then after one speed bump:

"Dad, I passed! I got my permit!"

That call I received on Beatrice's way home from the DMV with Mom. Since then, we've scheduled her driver's training, which is not offered through high school today, and we have to pay for. We've also been taking her driving so she can get her permit hours in so she can take her driver's license test this summer.

Each drive Beatrice gets a little more comfortable and confident, but it's still overwhelming when you're learning. As parents, we live our past coming of age over and over again, from childhood to teen-land, offering guidance and advice along the way based on our own lessons learned. Learning to drive is one of those we remember well. 

The morning my mom took me to get to take my driving test for my license, I had a butterfly convention rocking my stomach. In the blink of an eye, it was over, and I had passed. My mom proceeded to drive us back home again. I asked her why, since I thought she was going to drop me off at school, and she answered, "Because you're going to drive yourself to school today." That was something I'll never forget.

We're helping Beatrice learn to drive now that she has her permit, and soon her sibling Bryce will be ready to go (and who wants to drive yesterday). Driving with "fussy" Dad is more stressful than "calm" Mom, but we know that Beatrice appreciates all the help from both of us. We look forward to both Beatrice and Bryce driving themselves around, and us, but we don't look forward to our insurance rates increasing dramatically. 

Another mile marker in our lives is here, and there's no looking back, except when checking your mirrors, kids. Don't ever forget that part.

All the Friendship in Between, with Love

The last two times I heard from Robby were phone-tag voicemails. There were a lot of those over the decades of our friendship. I'd call him. He'd call me back. He'd call me. I'd call him back. Back and forth until we'd connect, usually every two weeks. 

I saved the last two voicemails from him. I didn't intend to, but every time I wanted to delete them, I just couldn't. I know I'm not the only person to do that, wanting to hear the voice of someone you loved who's no longer there. 

The last time I talked with Robby was right after he turned 59, and it was the last weekend our mutual longtime friends hung out with him. After than we played phone tag until two days before he passed. 

"Hey, my brother, it's Robby. I don't know what time it is but I am calling to catch up I feel like I cut you off the other day when we were talking because Mary called and I was expecting her call and blah blah blah blah blah. Anyway, I would like to talk to you, so when you get a chance if you could call me back that be great. Love you. Bye-bye."

Robby always had old friends calling him, playing phone tag with him, so it was no wonder he wanted to take her call, with "her" being the operative word. No offense taken here. Robby loved the ladies. 

"Hey, man, it's Robby trying to get back to you. We're playing some phone tag so I'll be around. Love you, man. Bye-bye."

That was the last voicemail, just like the thousands before it. Always ending in "love you", something we never had a problem sharing with each other. Who says men can't be close friends and say that they love each other. Not me and my friends, that's for sure. 

I've written about parenting, my wife, my children, growing up, and my life perspectives here since 2007. Another big part of my writing has been about my friends and friendship and the impact they've had on my life. All the posts linked below are a testament to those friends, those friendships, and all that love (and laughter), forever anchored to our friend Robby. The friendships and love that helped shape me as a man, a husband, a father, and being a better human. 

Robby would've turned 60 today. I'm so grateful we had him in our lives. Here's to the first and the last voicemail, and all the friendship in between, with love. Happy Birthday, Brother. 

• A Spirit Breaking Free
• Because There's Always A Promise
• A Longing for Loving Connection
• What Happens Next
• Superman's Love Letter
• Men of An Influencer Age
• Making a Dent
• A Long-Term Well-Being Win
• Men of a Stand-up Age
• Men of a Vulnerable Age
• Able-Bodied Grateful
• Men of Our Present Age
• The #MeToo Guys
• Men of a Women's Age
• Men of a Consequential Age
• Like Men Knowingly Bound to Their Future
• Because That's How It Works With The Guys That Work
• Big Heart Love to My Class of 1984
• Men of An Unremarkable Age
• Being What Happens Next
• Retro K: A treasure trove of golden memories friendship has forged

My Now Is Never Going Back Again

 "...Been down one time
Been down two time
Mmm

I'm never going back again..."

–Fleetwood Mac, Never Going Back Again

"Dad, this is my new favorite Fleetwood Mac song," Bryce said. Both our kids love music, especially our youngest, Bryce. In 2025, they started listening to Fleetwood Mac and fell in love with the Rumors album, an album that's now over 48 years old.  

We listened to it the other night while my family played a game and I fixed dinner, and I just couldn't get it out of my head. My wife Amy hates when that happens, but I don't mind it as much because certain lyrics will rattle around in my brain dislodging memories and helping me reframe personal insights. Song lyrics, poems, favorite prose passages -- all are my soul's food for thought.

This time of year there are those who make New Year's resolutions. Goals for the year. Life changes to make. Behaviors to modify. Bad habits to end and better ones to begin. I remember when my mom used to ask us to share our new year resolutions and to try and articulate the why of them. But I don't remember us ever checking in on our progress throughout the year, or reviewing the old resolutions when we made new ones in yet another new year.

We like to think of a new year as a fresh start, but the reality is, the only fresh start that matters is the now. There's a Rush song called Ceiling Unlimited with the lyrics "changes never end, never end, winding like an endless river, the time is now again" (written by one of my favorite writers, Neal Peart). Time is always now again. The past has happened and the future holds endless potential, but it's the now again where impactful change can be made, should be made, is only made. No matter if that's January 1 or June 30. 

How many times in my life did I make resolutions I never kept? Too many to count. Past trauma, addiction, selfishness, laziness, being biologically hardwired to make self-destructive decisions, feeling like I can do whatever I want when I want -- all things that can fill us with uncomfortable past reflections as we long for better futures. 

That doesn't mean there weren't good times and that real positive changes didn't occur. For me, there were and they did. In all my learning and healing over the years, and my recent years of regular meditation, personal discovery and growth is contingent on understanding and pivoting on past failure. But if you've acquiesced to the hardwiring of making self-destructive decisions with very little redemptive qualities, then you've lost the positive possibility of now. Something that's celebrated in mainstream literature, cinema, and television today. We've stopped letting go. Instead, we keep letting it rot and say we didn't have a choice.

However, we always have a choice. Even those with addiction problems know there's always a choice, a choice to not choose the destructive thing -- the drinking, smoking, gambling, etc. And that can lead to more choices of finding the support needed to sustain the healing. 

Making positive, mindful choices and letting go of what no longer serves us in the now benefits our own personal growth, and the wellbeing of others, and it isn't new. It's the spiritual backbone of religions and faiths going back thousands of years. 

For me, life used to be one step forward and two steps back. It seemed easier that way, like my fate was a weight of conflicting circumstances I had no control over, so damn the consequences of choice. Now, no matter what happens, it will always be one step forward, an ongoing resolution of living wellness. I especially thank my wife for instilling this in me and our children. My now is never going back again.