To Always See the Squirrels Through the Trees

“When you were young and your heart was an open book
You used to say live and let live
(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)
But if this ever-changing world in which we live in
Makes you give in and cry—
Say live and let die…”

—Paul McCartney

The world around us slowed to a near stop. Focused and fiery, we ignited the air between us.

"Do you want to go home?"

There we were: a battle of pure impulse and reactive wills. I held Bryce firmly by her shoulders after I had placed her in the shopping cart seat. Bryce held me fast with her eyes, defiant fury unleashed over and over again like rapid-fire solar flares. Shards of melting self-control rained down upon us.

"No, no, no!"

I started to lift her out of the cart and then...

Twenty minutes earlier I knew it would be a stretch with me in charge and taking both girls to Trader Joe's for our weekly shopping run. As soon as we got to the store both girls wanted the kiddie shopping cart to push around, but there was only one, which was how the fracas began. Since Thursday, the Mama has been in the classes to become a certified instructor for Kidpower, and I've been helping case for the children more than usual, especially this weekend.

For those keeping score at home, Kidpower Teenpower Fullpower International, known as Kidpower for short, is a global nonprofit leader in personal safety and violence prevention education.

I'm very proud of the Mama doing this, and I of course will support and help in any way I can. But any parent responsible for the lion's share of childrearing, or any portion of it, will tell you that it's hard enough taking one young child to the grocery store (or any store that's not a toy store).

But two young children, one of whom is the Brycinator? C'mon. Lovely squirrels they are, but still.

...and then I stopped myself to channel the Mama and principles of positive discipline. Beatrice looked at me as if saying, You can do it Daddy.

Get into your child's world.

"Bryce, I know you want to go home, but why don't you help me and Bea find the Tiki Guy so you can get a sucker and Daddy will shop super fast? Then we'll go to the duck park."

"Okay."

That's when Beatrice exclaimed: "I see the Tiki Guy, there in the surfboard!"

And we were off, suckers in hand. Super fast the shopping was, and when I couldn't find something on the Mama grocery list within 20 seconds, then I quickly asked one of the friendly Trader Joe's employees. Finding the cute little stuffed Tiki Guy hidden in plain sight throughout the store is always a fun distracting pastime for kid's at Trader Joe's, and it certainly helped me. Ultimately Bryce and I survived and Beatrice was happy to help me carry some of our goods in the little shopping cart.

Yep, the part when the Daddy's in charge of the girls and grocery shopping becomes a precarious balance of emotional intelligence and a deadly race against end of times.

Plus there's always a park to play in for the aftermath. Ah, to always see the squirrels through the trees. 

"What does it matter to you?

When you got a job to do

You got to do it well

You got to give the other fellow—"

Love.

I was the good parent-cart samaritan.

I loved story problems when I was in school. No matter how many times I read through a problem, I knew with salient comfort that there was only one correct answer to the problem.

Or was there?

Academics and test developers would tell me, "Yes, there is always only one answer to each story problem unless otherwise specified."

All right, here's my ethical daddy dilemma story problem...

Before Bryce was born, we had a weekly family routine of going grocery shopping together, all three of us.

But now? Now it's all different and we're figuring everything out again for the second time and from the B² perspective.

So I took Beatrice to the grocery store with me today. Trader Joe's actually (there's a fantastic article in Fortune about the retailer). Don't worry, I'm a good shopper (with a list) and Trader Joe's is easily traversed with a toddler in shopping cart tow. Bea usually gets an organic Fuji apple to munch on while we shop, and today was no exception.

We shopped, Bea munched and then we checked out.

I pushed the shopping cart back out into the parking lot to our car, strapped Bea into the car seat, loaded the full reusable grocery bags into the car, and then pushed the cart--

Wait a minute. What was I supposed to do?

• A) Leave Bea in the car and push the cart back to the cart rack 20 yards away?
• B) Leave the cart in between the cars around me for someone else to deal with?
• C) Take Bea back out of the car seat, hold her while I push the cart back to the cart rack and then skip back to the car to strap Bea back in?

No, mommies and daddies, I did not leave Bea in the car. I know every parent has there fudge-factor-risk time of doing just that, but this time I did not.

I picked C. I was the good parent-cart samaritan.

But maybe next time I'll just have Bea get the car and pull up front so I can load it.