For example, if the plan is, you, our children, will wear your masks inside when over at one of our pod homes, then you wear your masks inside. Pod homes meaning the families we rotate with a few times a week to watch each other's kids. Our kids get to play with their friends after school, and the parents get a break for a few hours after school.
Even if the adult in charge at that point and time in the house they were all in says it's okay to not wear masks, our children know they are supposed to check first with us before they do anything different than the agreed-upon plan. One of their friends didn't wear a mask inside, then others joined in, including our children.
After we went camping recently and were around a lot of people we did not know, even though we wore our masks and practiced COVID-19 safety protocols, we still were around a lot of different people. That, combined with the fact that another one of our pod families were around others indoors without masks, and we decided it was for the best that our girls wear their masks inside when at the other pod families that following week. That included our own home when it was our turn during that week.
Like checking first, some things are not a choice is another Kidpower mantra we repeat daily. And no matter the COVID-19 fatigue we've all been feeling, and mercy me have we been feeling it, it doesn't change how we practice health and safety protocols during a pandemic. This is true for our pod families and they all want to be safe as well.
It's been nearly a year since covid lockdown and distance learning for us where we live. And it sucks. Super sucks. We've done well as a family, and with our friends and pod families, but it still super sucks. We also don't disparage our friends because our kids decided to change the plans and take their masks off, no matter if the adult in charge said it was okay. We're all exhausted from this pandemic. Again, it super sucks.
Both our daughters tried to make the case that, since this was an agreement they didn't agree with, that it was okay to take off their masks. And we again reminded them, some things are not a choice and that we always check first with us before the plan is changed.
What is the natural consequence to be though? Should our daughters not be allowed to get together with the pods and friends for a week? That was our idea at first, and we posed this question to the parents in the Positive Discipline class we're in. The consensus was, no. Punitive discipline does not foster learning the right lessons, and especially not after the fact. Keeping communication open and continuing to be clear about the plan is key: thank you for telling us and what could you/we do differently next time before making a decision to change the plan. Always check first.
Children and teens don't have the capacity for consistent and rational decision making. Good God, so many adults don't either. We believe in including our daughters in the decision-making process, even though obviously we are the parents, the adults in charge.
This is why our family meetings are so important every week. Why personal responsibility and accountability are so important today, and tomorrow when they're teens. One of the parents in our class shared that in their friend pod, covid spread quickly due to not practicing safety protocol. Here was the natural consequence to learn from. Our oldest Beatrice realized that it wasn't just about potentially exposing themselves to the virus, it was about exposing us to it, her parents, who were more likely to get sick than either her or her sister.
No matter how tired we all are, some things are not a choice.
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