We know she understands the difference; she's had enough Kidpower in her life to never get that one wrong. That's the organization my wife Amy works for that helps kids, teens and adults build healthy relationships and protect people from bullying, child abuse, kidnapping, prejudice, dating/domestic violence, and sexual assault.
But when Bea uses the word "bullying" in that context, I get uneasy. The fact is, bullying, harassment, intimate partner violence (domestic violence) and sexual assault are all to alive and well in 2020. Thankfully both her and her younger sister Bryce have the safety skills to protect themselves from all of the above, and we'll continue to reinforce them.
Because all of the above continues:
- 1 out of every 5 (20.2%) students report being bullied
- A slightly higher portion of female than of male students report being bullied at school (24% vs. 17%)
- Nearly 1 out of every 5 (19%) of people report being bullied at work -- 65% of those are women -- 70% of the perpetrators are men
- About 1 in 4 women have experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime and reported some form of IPV-related impact
- Over 43 million women have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime
- Females ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault
- The reasons for being bullied reported most often by students include physical appearance, race/ethnicity, gender, disability, religion, sexual orientation
- There is a strong association between bullying and suicide-related behaviors, but this relationship is often mediated by other factors, including depression, violent behavior, and substance abuse
Lots of work to do here. Plus, divisive anger, fear, hate and general toxicity have thrived this year, just more of the same from the past decade, except now we're in a global pandemic and another election year. It's never been harder for so many of us to find common ground.
So, I'll try find some common ground here for those of us with children. Daughters in particular since that's Amy's and my world today. We all want our daughters to be safe. I don't think anyone would disagree with that.
Check.
We all want our daughters to be empowered with safety skills and to always be aware, calm and confident.
Check.
We don't want our daughters to be in toxic relationships of any kind, or support toxicity of any kind from others, whether those be friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, other adults, future bosses, future leaders, etc., and to not be a bystander as well -- to call it out when they see it.
Check.
And if they are in toxic relationships, for whatever reasons, we support them and help them to get out, not just tell them to deal with it.
Check.
We want them to have healthy, loving relationships, and healthy boundaries, and have empathy for others regardless of physical appearance, race/ethnicity, gender, disability, religion, political ideology or sexual orientation.
Check. (Although that's always a hard one for some of us.)
Because we want to be proud of our children no matter what they end up doing with their lives, and for them to lift others up instead of tearing them down. Today we can imagine that one day our daughters could be an astronaut, or an author, or an artist, or an actor, based on what they've told us to date. To have the freedom and support to make their own way regardless of where it leads, and to be safe along the way.
My God, one of them could someday be the vice president, or even the president. Can you imagine that? How amazing would that be?
Definitely something to celebrate!
Other "Days of Coronavirus" posts:
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