Baby B is between two worlds

I know a woman's body is only flesh and bone

A woman's body is only flesh and bone

How come I can't let go?

I'm between two worlds

I said oh yeah, I'm out of my mind

I'm between two worlds

--Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

I have no idea what Tom was really thinking of when he wrote those lyrics back in the early 80s. Probably not about pregnancy. But when I heard it in my mix last week when I was running, it got me thinking about where we've been and where we're at.

This is one of my favorite pictures from our wedding almost five years ago now. Amy's father, Carl, lovingly delivered the ceremony and married us. We wrote our own vows as well, and every October 11 we go down to the place where we met on the beach almost 11 years ago and read those vows to one another.

But what were we thinking in that picture? It certainly wasn't about having children. No, that would take another four years to evolve.

And here we are. Thirty-eight weeks pregnant. Amy started maternity leave a few days early last week, because when she woke up Wednesday morning, she said to me, "I don't want anybody touching me and I don't want to touch anyone." That's difficult not to do when you work in physical therapy.

No worries, my dear. It's time to relax with the relaxin and chill out. It could be anytime now. We set up the birthing tub in Baby B's room and our midwife gave me home birth kit just in case something happened and I had to birth the baby.

Are you kidding me? Well, I'm not cutting the nails. I told you that. (Don't worry, folks. Kathe will be here.)

Baby B is between two worlds. In fact, next to death, I believe being in the womb is the closet we ever get to heaven. In that ethereal place where stars collide and worlds are born, the spark of human life is tethered to mother and the heart of the universe, the very heart of God.

It's exciting that someday we can tell B he/she was born at home in his/her very room. So come out right and on time, you little honey B.

My, what a nice pelvis you have…

Yesterday was our big 37-week check-up with our midwife and the pelvic region is ready! Baby B is dropping into the tunnel of love head first; Mama A is 50% effacing with regular Braxton Hicks contractions – but nothing else escalating…yet. Estimated weight – 7.5 pounds. Heart beat a steady 140 bpm. Buzzing around the womb like a hyper honey bee.

(The couple that came to our birth planning meeting had their second child last weekend, birthed by our midwife, and the baby girl weighed almost 12 pounds. Amy looked at me meekly and said, "Please, no.")

The big B birthday could happen in the next week or two. We're going to pick up the birthing tub this weekend and then I'll have an indoor Jacuzzi for short time. Sweet. Got everything on the birthday checklist. Check.

I told my mom last night that we're as ready as we're going to be. All the reading, the listening to birth stories, the family and friend advice, the midwife coaching (you rock, Kathe) – all have been invaluable. But now it's time for hands-on training. Now it's time. (I could share what I've learned about sphincter law, but I'll let you think about it first.)

The only thing I'm afraid of is the cutting of Baby B's nails. Really. Yes, we have little mittens ready to go in case they're too long, but cutting them, no way. Years ago I tried to cut my dog's nails (good ol' Joshua), cut one to the quick and he bled all over the frickin' place. Scared me to death.

Bring on the meconium and the pee and the placenta and the plutonium – but I ain't cuttin' the nails. Please don't make me cut the nails.

Giving birth: the most natural phenomena on earth

To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

Genesis 3:16

I don't believe God really did that as punishment for Eve's sin, but the men who wrote it wished God had. The part about ruling over women was definitely an earthly, manly mandate. That's been pretty evident for a long, long time.

This post isn't to argue original sin; it's to talk about giving birth, one of the most natural phenomena on earth.

Prior to the early 1900s, giving birth at home was the normal thing to do (yes, mortality rates were higher, I know, but still). In the early 1900s, women began going to the hospital because modern health care at the time made huge strides in reducing the mortality rate and improving the likelihood that mom and baby would live to see another day. However, the medical community consisted of men who in turn wanted to increase the ease of functional delivery for themselves – things like complete sedation for the woman, strapped down in a bed with restraints with feet hiked up and locked into stirrups.

Today, if most births are normal, vaginal births due to the advances of prenatal care, then why is the cesarean rate in America upwards of 40%?

Most of you know we've planned a home water birth with our very capable midwife Kathe (who by the way corrected me about her visual aids not being from the 1970s – just kidding Kathe!), but I can't tell you how many times people go right to the horror stories when I tell them we're having a home birth.

"Oh my God, my niece had a home birth and it ripped a hole in the space-time continuum, along with tearing her perineum and her neighbor's as well, and the amount of blood and evil inter-dimensional beings was horrific..."

Really?

I even received a response of late that we're more concerned about our feelings, and not Baby B's health, because we wanted a home birth.

What the – ?

We're not having a home birth to burn incense, sing kumbaya and pat ourselves on the back. No, we're having a home birth solely to have a more natural and safe experience for mom and baby (with a certified midwife) the way God and millions of years of evolution intended (yes, I can reconcile both and do).

But just in case, we do have a plan B. No worries there. And you can have great prenatal care with a midwife instead of an OB – and we did both. We're also in a community that embraces midwifery including the local medical profession. A qualified midwife can identify breech well before early labor even starts and if they can't adjust the little bugger, plan B starts early.

Our midwife has attended over 1,200 births and only a small percentage has had to go to the hospital for whatever reason.

We watched a water birthing video the other night with our doula called Birth into Being (definitely not for everyone). A Russian spiritual midwife recorded five water births, some of which were women giving birth in the Black Sea. (Yes, I had visions of Jean Auel's books, The Mammoth Hunters, but no, we're not running down to the water to birth by the lighthouse where we met to be spiritually romantic in 55 degree water.) Water birth can help soothe the mother's labor and the baby comes right out of the water once it's born. And if all goes as planned, Baby B will be born in its very own room.

For those of you keeping score at home, here is more information from a great mainstream site – the American Pregnancy Association:

Home birth might be an option for you if:

1. You are having a healthy, low-risk pregnancy

2. You want to avoid episiotomy, cesarean section, epidural and other interventions

3. You want to be surrounded by family and friends

4. You want to be free to move around, change positions, take a shower, and eat or drink freely during labor

5. You want to enjoy the comforts of home and familiar surroundings

Home birth is not for you if:

1. You are diabetic

2. You have chronic high blood pressure, or toxemia (also known as preeclampsia)

3. You have experienced preterm labor in the past, or may be at risk for preterm labor now

4. Your partner does not fully support your decision to give birth at home

Most midwives will bring the following with them the day of delivery:

1. Oxygen for the baby if needed

2. IV's for mom if she becomes dehydrated or needs additional nutrients

3. Sterile gloves, gauze pads, cotton hat for the baby, drop cloths, waterproof covers for the bed, a thermometer, a pan for sitz baths after birth

4. Fetoscopes or ultrasonic stethoscopes

5. Medications to slow or stop a hemorrhage

6. Special herbal preparations, homeopathic remedies, massage supplies/techniques and even acupuncture needles

7. Items for suturing tears

In what situations would transfer to the hospital occur:

1. Mom decides to go because she feels exhausted and does not want to continue

2. Premature rupture of membranes

3. High blood pressure

4. No progress

5. Fetal distress

6. Cord prolapse

7. Hemorrhage

Some pointers when considering a home birth:

1. Compile a health care team by hiring a midwife and obstetrician

2. Interview several midwives to discuss their birth philosophy; you may be more comfortable with a midwife who shares your view of birth

3. Write out a Plan B in case a hospital transfer is necessary

4. Hire a doula

5. Ask your midwife if she works with a backup OB/GYN

6. Choose a pediatrician to see the baby within 24 hours of the birth

Home birth perks:

1. Home birth may be significantly easier on your pocket book. An average uncomplicated vaginal birth costs about 60% less in a home than in a hospital.

2. Home birth provides immediate bonding and breastfeeding. Early breastfeeding helps mom stop bleeding, clear mucus from the baby's nose and mouth, and transfer disease-fighting antibodies in the milk from mother to baby.

3. Home birth allows you to be surrounded with those you love. When you include children, family, and friends in the birth process, it provides you with many helpers and allows a very intimate bonding experience for everyone involved.

Daddy K asks – what the???

So I'm cruising through some of the blogs and news feeds I subscribe and there it was on HappyNews.com:

California Mom Gives Birth on Front Lawn by Herself

Jessica Higgins was at the mall in Fullerton with her 2-year-old son when she went into labor. She drove home, called 911 and had the baby in her front yard.

"She was just standing in the driveway rocking the newborn, who was still attached to the placenta," Officer Manny Ramos said.

Although her daughter came six weeks early, both mom and baby are doing well.

We'll stick to the birthing tub. Or the bed. Or the futon in the baby's room. Or the couch downstairs. Or the cuddle chair downstairs.

Less than a month to go.

The Mama A List: The Midwife Measureth and Checketh Up

Last night our midwife Kathe came for our latest Baby B appointment (video snippet here). Everything is going well and now we'll see her every two weeks and then every as we approach the due date.

Amy's weight and measurements are all on target and the baby's heart rate continues to be a steady 140 bpm. Rock on, Baby B! (I'm going to try to capture some alien video of Amy's tummy roiling.)

We're now in the final planning stages, including making lists of supplies – smelling salts for me and a birthing tub with beach balls for Amy. Lots to do before the baby comes.

YouTube has a new fun feature (thanks Adriana!) that allows you to embed pop-up thought bubbles and such in videos.

Enjoy!

Mama A at Home in the Tub

Amy loves the water. Half of her work week is spent in the physical therapy pool working with patients and the other half of her home week is spent in the tub!

So it’s not surprising that when we discussed how she wanted to give birth, she wanted to be at home with a midwife and preferably in a birthing tub.

Hey, I love her, and because I ain’t the one giving birth, she’s got my vote no matter we decide. And there’s no better progressive birthing place in the world than Santa Cruz. No, we haven’t joined a coven, a cult or a commune. No worries.

Over 90% of births in this country are normal vaginal births (did I just write that?). But sadly cesarean rates in the U.S. have exceeded 40% by some counts. 40%.

Yes, there are emergencies when cesareans are absolutely necessary. My sister’s first birth was very difficult and she had to have one (and her second was scheduled). Amy’s good friend Danielle also had to have two.

That being said the incidence of cesarean is still unnecessarily high and the reasons include:

1. Low priority of enhancing women's own abilities to give birth
2. Side effects of common labor interventions
3. Refusal to offer the informed choice of vaginal birth
4. Casual attitudes about surgery and cesarean sections in particular
5. Limited awareness of harms that are more likely with cesarean section
6. Providers' fears of malpractice claims and lawsuits
7. Incentives to practice in a manner that is efficient for providers

You can read more detail of each here. Don't get me started about Pitocin and the other drugs.

Today an old friend and colleague emailed me and recommended that we watch The Business of Being Born, which we already had watched a few months ago. Another amazing and unsettling account of what it’s like giving birth in this country and the benefits of going with a midwife for a home birth (and we really like ours!).

While we’re certainly not naïve enough to neglect the potential dangers of giving birth at home or in the hospital and know that anything can happen at any time, we’re confident that we’ve made the right choice.

Just say midwifery out loud. It’s like a cool breeze.

Midwifery.
Midwifery.
Midwifery.

Ah, now I float away...