"B" Present and Pink

Remember the one about the dad with little girls who's not afraid to dress up like a princess or a fairy, have his picture taken, and even post it online for God and everyone to see?

Yes, I'm the one. Or, more precisely, one of many. No need to split hairs that daddy's like us are more than comfortable in their own skin, don't really care what others think, and yes, it's as much about us as it is our girls. We're good with all that, even if there are those who aren't, and there are.

And that's okay. Because we believe that our little girls needs confident daddy's who aren't afraid to be silly and embrace life, and for the love of equitable reciprocity, have a little gender bender fun. They need to see us as malleable beings, somewhat amorphous, but with enough masculine leadership to not be mistaken anything other than daddy (even if we're talking single daddy, a daddy-mommy combo or a two-daddy combo).

Especially when we're told:

"Daddy, this is for girl's only. No boy's allowed."

To be then followed by:

"Okay, Daddy, one boy is allowed. Come on in."

This doesn't mean that daddy's have to dress up like a fairy princesses to be "present" with their girls, but hey, what about cheerleading?

Remember this?

For the record, the fairy getup was also my choice for "Fun Friday" at work, where each week our Peoplefluent marketing group picks a theme for the team and then pictures follow. We went from Johnny Cash day to Magical Fairy day. Oh, how the team loves me.

So I'm a magical mirror daddy fairy. What's it to you?

"B" present and pink, Daddies. Always.

In and out of the strike zone: the mindful presence of parenting

Second to football, I really miss playing baseball. I only played it as a child from the minor leagues through early high school, and then many years later was a player-coach for a co-ed softball team, where we stunk up the field with more fun than you can shake a Lupus-booger-covered finger at (Bad News Bears reference).

Ironically though I'm not really a sports fan as an adult male. Love sports, not a sports fan. But when I read great stories about a down-and-out pitcher like Jonathan Sanchez who throws the Giants' first no-hitter in 33 years, it's pretty dang exciting and I want to be a fan.

Really guys, I do.

As of this posting, the Giants are only 6.5 games in back of the Dodgers, not bad for a motley crew that wasn't supposed to mop the on deck circle with anyone this season.

So many lovers of the game have written about it metaphorically, how the game mimics life; so much nothing and then "pitch-whack-run-slide" and it's a ballgame.

I've been a busy little "bea" the past two weeks with the SHRM conference and then our fun-filled-family 4th extravaganza in Carson City and Lake Tahoe.

But when we got back, my Comcast high-speed Internet connection pitched me a change-up and then a slider.

It frickin' killed me basically. It's my lifeline to work and play and when it's down I'm crippled. And here's where I'm going with this post: I wasn't proud of how I reacted to it, particularly in front of Beatrice.

Yes, she's only 9 1/2 months old, but as she sat there playing with her toys, Daddy K tried to fix it after spending two hours on the phone with Comcast. Then he laid on the living room floor, punched it repeatedly, sweating and cursing like an Oakland Raiders fan.

I like to talk about myself in the third person for the prouder moments. Hey, everybody needs to vent a little, but every parent needs to keep themselves in check.

Especially parents for the sake of their perceptive modeling children. The same kids who hear their father say the "f-word" and start dancing madly around the house like a happy fan after a three-run homer, repeating it over and over again.

We have a conscience. We are the role models. We have a higher power. We are the parents. We are personally responsible. We have spiritual guidance to keep us focused in the present on being present and reacting more appropriately for situations out of our control.

Let's use the baseball metaphor here however weak it may end up being (sigh). Each and every moment has a strike zone and you're in the batter's box.

Inside the strike zone - if things are in your control, and you can remain in the moment and stay focused, then you can connect bat to ball and get a base hit or even hit the ball out of the park. Otherwise if you strike out, then at least you can go down swinging with family pride.

Outside the strike zone - if things are out of your control, and you can remain in the moment and stay focused, then you can take your base and wait it out, whether the ball equals four balls or it hits you. Otherwise if you charge the mound and clear the benches, then that's what the family is going to remember for years to come.

In parenting as in life, it's not just whether you win or lose - which I would argue certainly has it's place - it's how you play the game.

Go Giants!

Daddy K's predawn prep of mindful presence (Happy Father's Day)

I'm always the first to awaken in our family, to enjoy the predawn prep of mindful presence. It's a sacred time for me, and this morning on my first father's day is no exception. The sunrise accelerates; color and light flood the trees and sky through our front window; it's going to be a beautiful day.

I await the call, when Mama A says "sweetie" signaling me to go upstairs to welcome her and our little Beatrice into the day. It should come any moment now. Then we'll sing the morning song Mama wrote for Bea, as we do every morning:

Good morning, good morning, it's time to wake up
The birds are all singing, the sun's coming up
It's a beautiful day for my baby and me
We'll laugh and we'll dance and we'll sing by the sea

Good morning, good morning, a new day is here
Full of bright, sunny smiles and good morning cheer
It's a day full of wonder and lots of good fun
So, let's get up, get going, the day has begun

When I hold my daughter in my arms and she smiles at me, her tiny hand fumbling along my nose and mouth, color and light flood my heart and I want to be a better man and father, to be present and accountable in her life, in Mama's and in mine and in the world beyond us. We've only just begun that journey and family adventure is our middle name.

I am blessed, take nothing for granted and accept the nod from God.

Happy Father's Day Gentlemen. There is hope through fatherhood.

P.S. - I'll miss you today, Dad. So glad your on the mend again! Thank God for angel battery packs.

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