I still have the journal cover packed away somewhere. It had ripped away from the journal body after years of use and I wanted to ensure I kept it since it was one of the first presents Mama gave me.
The cover reads: Celebrate the Miracle of Your Choices!
They're a work in progress. Always have been. They may have not always been the best choices or the most productive and mindfully present after so much life lived, but you can and should celebrate them nonetheless. I can, did and do.
Because all the choices woven together make up the tapestries each of us carry, high atop a flagpole in our individual pride parades.
Sure, some of us drag the damn things behind us through the mud sometimes, heads and hearts down and out, but then we wash away the dirt in redemption and hang them in the sun to dry.
If you're paying attention at all, and learning along the way, you know they're not prefabricated; you painstakingly on accidental purpose process each bale of life lived into the golden spun thread of yours truly tapestries.
Segue to finally reading through the Whole Living articles on overcoming fear and living fearlessly Mama had saved for me about a week ago.
Guys, I'm telling you, don't write off girl-power inspirational writing. Trust me. It resonates more that we'd care to admit.
Like this excerpt from the article:
My doctor gently told me, "Year by year all is unclear, but day by day we find our way." I hear those words at least once a day and find my way back to the present. Fear is about what might happen, not what is happening right now. It takes us to a place of panic, not power. The only thing you have to master is the thing right in front of you, this very second.
That's the way Mama and I have always lived our lives -- her more than me, but I keep up pretty well.
The past six months have been amazing path of love and bonding for me, Mama and the B-hive, punctuated by moments of excruciating doubt and fear, and we still hold our tapestry high in the air -- dried mud, baby food, leaky bank accounts, sleepless nights and all.
The only thing you have to master is the thing right in front of you, this very second.
The following is from our marriage vows (sewn right into our high-flying tapestry):
You are my sun,
and I am your Moon.
I rise in the night
to settle the darkness
that reflects my past,
but the second you rise
and call out my name
making my day aglow
with a moment of grace,
it’s then I relive our love:
our present eclipse embrace.
We are two wholes, together.
We are Heartmeld.
We believe in a lifetime with happy.
We celebrate the miracle of a million interwoven threads; we celebrate the miracle of our choices.
Always.
Oh, and Happy Birthday Mama! We love you!
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