Responsible parenting and leadership are a start. In between reaching for the sky (Toy Story rocks).

Screw the darkness. I prefer the lightness of Pop.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Domestic Violence Awareness: B² means to make it your business.

In the midst of B² baby poop and pee bliss, I can't help but think about how my daughters will grow up, how physically and mentally healthy they'll be, how well they'll do in school, how they'll fair the workplace and will they be influential leaders, how emotionally intelligent and spiritually intelligent they will be, how sound their relationships will be especially with significant others...

How sound their relationships will be. If they are sound, they will be, but that doesn't mean they won't run into others' instability. For those of you who know me and follow my blog you know I periodically write about domestic violence and violence against women awareness and prevention.

Having two daughters, and growing up with domestic violence, makes it very much my business in a world that has a difficult time making it its business.

Last week on the Domestic violence and the Workplace blog, my friend Kim Wells posted Why Is Domestic Violence "Everybody's Business"?.

They had recently posted a story on their Facebook page about a person who heard her neighbors having a heated argument "screaming at each other" -- she had her window opened and listened to the whole dispute that night but never called 911.

Her neighbor was killed. Her alleged murderer was her boyfriend and a man with a history of domestic violence. The woman who did not call said, "I feel bad now that I didn't call 911. I could have prevented this."

Maybe. Maybe not. She should've called, though. It's everyone's business when it comes to preventing violence and death.

Because it could be you or yours someday.

I remember watching an ABC movie of the week when I was 11 or 12, called "The Girl Who Cried Murder" or something like that, based on real events of a girl murdered on a New York street with multiple witnesses, and yet no one called the police.

That one stayed with me.

Every year there are stories of people witnessing horrific acts who never call the authorities.

I wonder how many of our neighbors heard the physical violence in our house when I was little and yet never called the police.

Kim writes in her blog:

But at the end of the day, we all have a decision to make. Will I make this "my business" or not?

I hope you do.

Mama and I hope you do, too. So will my daughters.

By the way, Domestic Violence Awareness Month starts next month, but please make it every month.


  1. Thank you so much, Kevin. I started having palpitations as I read your words, partly because you're not just giving lip service to my long-standing passion but actualizing the closing of the void.

    It's unfortunate that my voice has constantly been stilled over these past ten years of wanting to speak, wanting to educate, wanting to vocally raise awareness and having to settle for merely writing.

    In 2008 for me, the violence was no longer from a relative. It was from a house full of impaired individuals. The police would not protect me after the third call. I had to create many strategies in order to remain somewhat safe. And still my voice was stopped.

    A former employer thought I was pointing at him when I attempted to speak through my writings. So I was blackballed.

    It's the fear and the shame that cause these types of reactions. Abusers don't like being exposed.

    Thanks for displaying that purple ribbon I sent you. I'd like to see hundreds more.

  2. Yvonne, thank you so much for sharing. Abusers don't like being exposed, but they must be.