It's early. I'm working downstairs. Bea whimpers and moans upstairs, most likely her covers are strewn about; she doesn't get pulling them back on yet. Mama gets up to get her, to pull her into our bed and go back to sleep.
My parents are sleeping in our new garage guest room. They'll be heading out today after spending over a week with us for Christmas, of which my sister and kids actually joined us for, even if it was only for a few hours on Christmas day. Never thought it would happen anytime soon.
And it was only two years ago this morning that the pregnancy test was positive.
Never say never when raising the ever-amazing and tasty bittersweet life-sicle-cycle high above the head. This is why, per my favorite writer, I identify with being a rational romantic mystic cynical idealist.
Cynicism wanes this time of year for me, though. It's always been my favorite time of the year; I really do strive to find and live the essence of Christmas and New Year's each and everyday. Everyday is Christmas when you're your own personal Santa and Savior. Everyday is New Year's Day when you own your actions and reactions.
I'm so thankful that Mama, Bea and me are healthy, ready to take on 20-10 with the zest and zeal of nearly 7 billion New Year's Eve revelers, our hearts as big and bold as balls of fiery crystal falling fast to ignite the center of the earth.
But yesterday a dear old friend of mine shared that her daughter now has hearing loss in both ears and will have to wear hearing aids, and the doctors think it's progressive. As she put it, "For someone that followed all the rules for a healthy pregnancy and goes organic much of the time, the new reality took a little time to adjust to."
Anger at the universe, grief and sadness. Then she said:
"She is my little hero...I want to promote a can-do, positive attitude and be her role model. So, onward we go for a new road in 2010."
Because that's a choice, and one that reminds me of why we've evolved, of why we're here. We shake our heads at the tragic alternatives that play out around us, but we can elevate and rise above.
Our children are our heroes and we are theirs.
God empowers us; we empower God.
To be better.
That is my goal this year: to live one day at a time and do the best I can everyday. In other words, I want to be better.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year and all the best to you and your family in 2010.
Amen. It's a tough gig but can be done. Happy New Year to you and your family as well!
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year even if I am a week late. Being better is always a great goal.
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