Responsible parenting and leadership are a start. In between reaching for the sky (Toy Story rocks).

Screw the darkness. I prefer the lightness of Pop.

Monday, February 22, 2010

All before the shutting of the door.

Riding the Friday coattails of a happy tearful Jam-B day, Saturday morning was supposed to be more of the same.

Which it was, eventually, but not before the shutting of the door...

We were getting ready to head out for a run/walk along the ocean (pushing Beatrice in the jogging stroller) when I went out front to put the stroller in the car and tried to shut the door.

But something blocked the door. I thought it was this leather bag talisman we have hanging on the door know inside (ask Mama about that one), since it does tend to swing in between the door and the door jamb, but that wasn't it.

No, it was Bea's hand. At first I didn't even realize it because I didn't hear Amy say:

"Wait -- Bea's hand!"

Fortunately her fingers didn't even swell up, although her vocal cords sure did -- from shrieking.

God, I felt so horrible. Frustrated and angry too knowing full well I needed to be checking for tiny hands every where there was a door or drawer to shut. I'm one of her parents, one of her protectors, and shouldn't be the cause of any physical pain.

An accident? Yes. Always preventable? No. Mine and Mama's emotional and moral compasses intact helping us make the right decisions in the aftermath? Most of the time.

We got out Boo-Boo Fish, this little plastic fish full of that blue ice magic that freezes, and that helped to soothe her as it usually does.

Then off we went on our morning walk! No harm, no foul.

However, that horrible feeling of hurting your child unintentionally is so hard to shake for most of us, except for the tragic exceptions we read about in the news -- those who's moral compass has rusted, it's moving parts frozen or broken -- like:

Recently 8-month-old baby Bekm was shot and killed by his father in Meridian, Idaho, while 9-month-old baby Wyatt was killed by his father Stephen Garcia in San Bernardino County.

Yeah, this isn't stuff parents want to read, and it's a crappy segue to an otherwise sweet Beatrice post, but domestic violence and child abuse are issues I feeling strongly about bringing awareness to, and hopefully facilitating positive change for.

I received that news release via e-mail from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence two weeks ago and it's been burning inside my head ever since.

It's not just the fathers either. Remember Andrea Yates?

The NCADV e-mail I received focused on the failure of our "system" that supposed to protect those in danger and the need for family court reform, but my point here is more about why what happens when and can it be prevented way before we get to alcoholism and addiction and mental illness and divorce and custody battles and vengeful anger and tragic, senseless deaths?

I believe more of them can be. Even with the sad fact that almost five children die everyday as a result of child abuse and many who survive are irreparably damaged, bringing more of the same destructive behavior to their future families.

There is hope. I broke the cycle of familial violence and abuse along with millions of other responsible, loving parents.

Accidents will happen. We'll hurt our children unintentionally and we'll feel like crap. We can educate, elevate and intervene to help prevent the intentional.

All before the shutting of the door.


  1. We had out first accident here this weekend. Little man kept climbing up on our dining room chairs to get to a box that was on the table. Before I could get to him he fell of the chair and split his lip. I scooped him up and ran for the kitchen and our little boo boo buddy things (his is a shark) and tried to calm him down to make sure the problem was isolated to his lip and not any of his teeth. I don't understand how someone could take out their anger against their own children, and I certainly hope that more can be done to prevent such tragedies.

  2. Thank you, PJ. We've conceded to the fact that babies fall. A lot. *sigh* Bea's head if bump and bruise central.

    Yes, I'm all about folks being responsible for their behavior -- and change the destructive behavior for the better.

  3. I accidently opened a door this week with Bradens's fingers reaching through the crack under the door. He was doing it in resposne to me doing the same. Yet somehow I didn't think he would put his fingers under there. I felt terrible and just plain stupid. Accidents happen. It is that other stuff that is just plain inexcusable.