The Freedom to Thrive

When I first wrote about the high school incident in Visalia last month where a small group of eight ASB students made the shirts they wore spell out “2 FAG6OTS”, there were those who warned me not to read the online comments. Not comments about my article; they were the comments on one of the original news postings about the incident. 

I didn't read them, because most of the time these days online comments are horrible and offensive, but someone did share with me that many of the comments supported the students' free speech.

Free speech to use an offensive slur toward 8th graders who were at high school orientation. Welcome to high school, kids. 

This prompted me to research more about the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which guarantees fundamental freedoms of religion, speech, press, assembly, and petition, primarily restricting government interference. 

It was adopted in 1791 as part of the Bill of Rights and protects against state-imposed religion and allows for free expression, though these rights are not absolute, excluding obscenity, true threats, and incitement.

The First Amendment broadly protects freedom of speech, even speech that is offensive, hateful, or deeply disturbing. The U.S. Supreme Court has repeatedly ruled that the government generally cannot prohibit speech just because it is hateful or offensive.

And that sucks, doesn't it? I think it does. Even with the authoritarian movement in this country, we still have the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. I can speak my mind as I do here in this forum and not be jailed for it. Not yet anyway.

But that also means we can say some pretty offensive and intimidating things to each other without fear of legal reprisal. Again, that sucks.

There are limits, however. Important exceptions include:

• Speech — including hate speech — is not protected if it falls into certain unprotected categories, such as:
• True threats (serious expressions of intent to commit violence)
• Incitement to imminent lawless action (encouraging immediate violence or illegal acts — Brandenburg v. Ohio)
• Harassment (especially in workplace or school settings under civil rights laws)
• Fighting words (direct, face-to-face insults likely to provoke immediate violence — though this doctrine is narrow and rarely applied today)
• Defamation

Something interesting to note is that the U.S. does not have a general “hate speech exception” to the First Amendment. Many other democracies (like Germany, Canada, and the UK) do restrict hate speech more broadly, but the U.S. typically does not.

But schools do have the authority to respond when speech crosses the line into harassment, intimidation, or bullying that interferes with a student’s ability to learn or feel safe at school.

Let that sink in — schools do have the authority to respond when speech crosses the line into harassment, intimidation, or bullying that interferes with a student’s ability to learn or feel safe at school.

I'm on my local school board in Santa Cruz and my district shared some important background about when the speech crosses the line. Under California Education Code 48900.4, a student may be disciplined for harassment, threats, or intimidation directed toward a student or staff member that is sufficiently severe or pervasive that it disrupts classwork, creates substantial disorder, or creates an intimidating or hostile educational environment. It’s important to clarify that a racial slur, though it may not be pervasive, is severe. 

Education Code 48900 allows schools to discipline students for bullying, which includes verbal acts, written communication, or electronic communication directed at one or more students that is severe or pervasive and that causes emotional harm, fear for personal safety, or substantial interference with a student’s participation in school. The law specifically recognizes bullying based on actual or perceived characteristics such as race, ethnicity, religion, gender identity, sexual orientation, disability, or other protected characteristics.

It is important to note that the legal standard used in harassment and bullying cases is “severe or pervasive.” This means the conduct does not need to be repeated over time if the behavior is serious enough. In some cases, a single incident may meet the standard if it is sufficiently severe. Racial slurs directed at a student can fall into this category, particularly when the language targets a student’s identity and creates humiliation, intimidation, or a hostile learning environment.

It's true that schools cannot discipline students solely for speech that would be protected by the First Amendment if expressed off campus. But the incident referenced above happened on campus, during school hours, and during an orientation assembly for 8th graders.

Really. Harassment, intimidation, or bullying that interferes with a student’s ability to learn or feel safe at school.

That's why I'm grateful of our Superintendent’s Student Advisory on Race & Equity in Santa Cruz that was formed in 2020 to elevate student voices around issues of race, equity, and school climate. The Advisory provides recommendations to ensure schools are safe, inclusive, and supportive for all students.

Our school board recently adopted updated Board Policy and approved a new resolution drafted by the Student Advisory on Race & Equity that called for eliminating the use of the N-word and all hate speech. Yes, the N-word. Today. Over 60 years after the Civil Rights Act and all the important anti-racist work since. 

Back to the Visalia Unified School District, the one I grew up in decades ago. Do you think those 8th graders the slur was directed at will feel safe at their new high school now? Based on the latest news I've read about this, the involved students have faced “disciplinary action,” according to the district, but officials said specifics of the investigation — including how many students were involved and how they were disciplined — won’t be made public. Being on my local school board, I get that. 

Whatever the disciplinary action, I hope the students who were involved reflect on what they did and understand how it created a humiliating, intimidating, and hostile learning environment for those students they targeted. Even if they grew up being taught that being LGBTQ+ is "wrong" due to religious beliefs, etc., it's not okay to harass, intimidate, or bully because they don't like it.

Same goes for me and my family — we can speak out against those who discriminate against any race, ethnicity, religion, gender identity, sexual orientation, disability, or other protected characteristics. We don't like it, but we're not going to harass, intimidate, or bully them to change their minds. We'll do our best to educate and create a mutual understanding of what the hate speech does to the children and adults on the receiving end. 

So, yes, you're free to be hateful and offensive in this country. And when you lead with "hey, it's free speech", that you can say whatever you want whenever you want, without denouncing demeaning and destructive language directed at specific groups of people for whatever reason, then you're making the world less safe for families everywhere. 

Thank you for letting me speak my truth. Let's reinvest in the freedom to thrive, not destroy.

How We're Teaching It

"...The road unwinds towards me
What was there is gone
The road unwinds before me
And I go riding on..."

–Rush, Driven

It's our tone. Our inflection. The way we emphasize "no, don't do that" or "no, you can't stop now" or "what are you doing!?!".

And in the defense of our oldest Beatrice who's been driving with her permit now for a couple of months, with nearly 30 hours of driving total, she's not wrong. 

As parents, my wife Amy and I haven't forgotten how hard it is when you're learning to drive. Operating a 4,000+ pound machine at any miles per hour can still be rough sometimes for adults, like us who have driven one million miles (based on the current driving average of 60 minutes a day). We haven't had to commute to work for any significant distance for many years either. 

It's a lot to remember, all the rules of the road, while also trying to anticipate what all the other drivers around you may do. We don't have fully autonomous driving vehicles 100% on the road yet, which may in the future reduce accidents, but don't tell that to Waymo today if you'd seen the bizarre self-driving behavior in San Francisco and other cities.

Beatrice has been driving herself and sibling Bryce to and from school and other places, with Amy or me or both of us in the car with her. We grab her permit, slap on the "PLEASE BE PATIENCE -- STUDENT DRIVER" magnets on the car, and off we go. Unfortunately, Beatrice gets double the adult trouble when Mom and Dad engage in crosstalk driving tips. Which don't always align and adds to the inflection frustration. 

"Beatrice stop! You're really close to that parked truck."

"No, she's not, Amy. Plenty of room. Beatrice, keep going. You can't stop here."

We don't crosstalk every time thankfully (whether that's contradicting each other or literally sounding cross). But again, no matter how we say it, our tone can sometimes feel like we said, "Good God kid, what were you thinking stopping when turning right on a green light and no one else is around! Go now!" 

We really try to not to do that, but it's harder for me because I'm the gruffly direct Dad while Amy is usually the warm empathic Mom. And yet, Beatrice reminds us again and again to not crosstalk when we're together and to not be angry, judgy, or shaming with our words when we think we're helping her. 

We don't think we are, but I'm sure it might sound that way when we're stressed about driving with a student driver. We also have to remind ourselves she's a teen and is stressed learning to drive and more subject to feeling like we're disappointed when we point out something to her. If we speak up, it feels like to her we're freaking out, which freaks her out. 

And now Bryce is right behind and cannot wait to learn to drive. Sigh. 

We'll help Beatrice with her driving skills as much as we can (and eventually Bryce). The more hours she gets in pre and post driver's license the better (and hopefully safer) driver she'll be. The best way to know is to do; experience is the greatest driver of "doing" mastery. She's doing great.

For Mom and Dad, we'll keep reminding to not turn left into oncoming traffic even when the light is green, and many other important driving tips. We also need to keep reminding ourselves that it's not what we're teaching, it's how we're teaching it, whether together or one-on-one. Watch the crosstalk, kids. 

From Now Until Forever

"...(Forever) Got a feeling that forever
(Together) We are gonna stay together
(Forever) From now until forever
You're the biggest part of me
You're the life that breathes in me
You're the biggest part
Of me..."

–Ambrosia, Biggest Part of Me

The summer before I started high school, I typed the song lyrics out on a single sheet of paper for my girlfriend at the time. The song was "Biggest Part of Me" and had just been released in April of 1980 and became one of Ambrosia's biggest hits. Music had become a defining part of who I was and how I saw the world. 

I was an avid reader then (and now), and that same year I read Lucifer's Hammer, an end-of-world story set Central Valley of California near where I grew up, and that book started my love of reading about how humanity survives a natural or manmade catastrophe.

Decades later, after my wife Amy and I first met, we discovered we both loved mostly the same music, including Ambrosia's "Biggest Part of Me", and that we both loved end-of-the-world stories. Hopeful romantics who felt humanity was hopelessly doomed. 

In 1999, the night before we moved in together, Amy took me to see Ambrosia at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. And we danced to our song. Four years later we were married and we danced to our song (it's been the wedding for many folks over the decades). Every time we hear the song we dance to it and sing it to each other.

Ambrosia played locally again this weekend and we went to see the show, while . Before the show started, we met a lovely couple named Jim and Nancy while we were eating dinner across the street. Nancy's cousin was one of the keyboardists for Ambrosia, Mary, and the wife of the drummer and one of the original band founders, Burleigh Drummond. We told them it was our wedding song, and they smiled and said that was wonderful and that it's been many couple's wedding song. We smiled and said we couldn't wait for the show. I was so grateful for such synchronicity! 

The Ambrosia show was wonderful. They played their hits and some covers and songs we had never heard before. They played "our" song and we danced to it just like we always do. 

Here we are in our 29th year with two teens, a cat, and a dog. We're still hopeful romantics trying to make a positive difference. We also still love our end-of-world stories; we still feel that humanity is doomed. But not as hopelessly anymore. It's not quite cynicism -- it's pragmatic realism now laced with mindful hope. 

The doomsday fiction we've read and watched over the decades usually ended with some form mindful hope, of the people wanting to be better, rebuild, and make the best of what was left. Understandably our kids do not like this about us. They're very aware of the world they're inheriting now and want to do something more directly active to improving it. We hope they do.

Trust me, we really don't want the world to end. We want a better world for our children. We're working on a better world for our children. Our children are working on a better world for our children. But if the end of the world comes, we'll go out with a love-filled bang dancing to "Biggest Part of Me" and salvaging as much of the best of us we can along the way -- from now until forever -- amen.