One Time -- Two Kids

It's definitely a sea change. That profound transformation from childhood to teenage-land to young adulthood. Those extreme physical, emotional and psychological changes that take place for both boys and girls. Bodies changing to hormones percolating, but not quite raging. Experiencing crushes and first kisses that lead to end-of-world heartaches. Not quite there yet, thank goodness. 

That's especially true about our eldest daughter, Beatrice, and where she is now. However, it wasn't true about my wife Amy and I growing up. We raged early. Maybe too early. Without consistent safety skills or talk of consent either. We did the best we could with what we knew; our parents did the best they could with what they knew. Would we have listened any differently anyway back then? Being told what not to do without much context? 

I don't know. That doesn't matter anymore, though. What matters is the fact that our girls have grown up with safety skills, with Kidpower, with the correct anatomical knowledge of what female and male parts do what and why and when. Of where babies come from, and of what consent means today, and tomorrow, in teenage-land and beyond. 

What matters is now. And while I'm comfortable talking about all these things with our daughters, they are more comfortable talking with Mom about them. That's okay. There are changes females go through that I have never and will never experience. 

Recently Beatrice asked Mom if she had s-e-x with Dad. What ensued was a funny exchange that I'll share below. As loving and intimate partners, we know the answer, and have had to figure out the when and where's over the years, especially the past year with everybody at home much of the time. But it's not something we talk about with our girls. Not until they're at least 40 years old. At least. It's one thing to talk with your kids about physical intimacy and sex, it's quite another to talk about with your kids you the parents having physical intimacy and sex.

Now that Bea's body and mind are changing, she's more aware of the questions that hadn't surfaced until now. Our youngest Bryce is still in the dormancy stage, though. Thank goodness.

So, Beatrice asked the question:

"Mom, do you and Dad have s-e-x?"

Amy paused, collecting her thoughts. Beatrice obviously knew the answer, but wanted to hear what her mom had to say about it. 

"Yes," Amy said.

Another dramatic pause, and then Amy frenetically added, "But only one time."

"Really?"

"Yes."

One time -- two kids. Thank goodness Beatrice doesn't like math.