The Mama Bird

Every year we get a mother finch that builds a nest in the eaves above our front door. During the past few weeks, we've gone from nest completion, to eggs laid, to eggs hatched, to baby birds, to baby birds flying. Soon the nest will be abandoned and the birds will live their short lives, wherever they go. 

This year our youngest Bryce named the mama finch Linda. Why, I'm not sure, but it was cute. Finches' lives are fleeting compared to humans, but then again, our lives can be fleeting, too. Watching our kids grow up has definitely flown by, but thankfully we've been mindful enough to embrace all the moments from birth to now. 

My wife Amy and I went on a beach workout together this Mother's Day, one that I do regularly throughout the year. During the walk there were many families on the beach with little kids running around screaming with joy, even with the thick fog blocking out the early summer sun. 

We reminisced about all the times we had our kids on this beach, Natural Bridges State Beach. Of walking from our house, pushing them in a stroller, pulling a wagon full of our beach stuff, and spending the afternoon on the beach. And then carting the tired, whiny kids all the way home again. We wouldn't have changed those trips for anything. 

Things are different now that both Bryce and Beatrice are teens. We still do a lot together as a family, enjoying each other's company and their blooming adulthood. But they are different things than childhood, and instead, they do more things with their friends, like go to the beach, the movies, downtown to shop, and the list goes on. That's normal and we've grateful they have strong friendships in their lives. Friendships we hope they carry with them beyond middle school and school like I've had over the years, and Amy, too. 

Unlike the baby finches who have now grown quickly in the nest above our front door, spread their wings, and are about to fly away to live their short lives, our kids will still be with us for a few years to come. Our kids love us both, but through it all, from birth to babies, to childhood to teen-land, our collective constant has been the mama bird Amy, and for that we're the most grateful of all. 

Worth The Time To Check

Our youngest Bryce came home and told us about a teacher rumor at school. I'm not going to share was the rumor was here, but I worried about its veracity. When I asked Bryce where they heard about this problem, they said it was from other students. 

"How do you know it's true?" I asked.

"Because everybody's talking about it," Bryce said.

"But that doesn't make it true," I said. "And I would be careful not to repeat it because rumors like that can be personally destructive to those they're about." 

"But everybody's talking about it," Bryce said.

"Unless you have it from a verified source, and it impacted your health and safety directly, I would not spread the rumor any further," I said. "If it is a health and safety program, then Mom and I get involved."

"No Kidpower, Dad," our oldest Beatrice said, rolling her eyes.

Our kids groan and shudder when we reference Kidpower, the organization my wife Amy works for, which is all about emotional, social, and physical safety skills for kids, teens, and adults. While they may express annoyance about Kidpower, we've empowered them over the years to be calm, confident, aware, and safe in their lives, which is the Kidpower mantra. 

This isn't directly about that, though. It's about how misinformation starts, grows, and spreads, and how destructive it can be. We all hear rumors all the time. Unfortunately, due to confirmation bias, which is our willingness to believe things because they align and reinforce our world view, means we're horrible fact-checkers. Super horrible fact-checkers. 

In today's 24/7 news coverage across a spectrum of ideological and political divides, it's difficult to ascertain balanced and objective reporting and where the real truths are. Real truths that have also been misused and misinterpreted since the beginning of time for propagandized agendas. Combine that again with today's opinion pieces sprinkled with pixie dust and threads of truth, if that, and the multiverse of what actually is, isn't. 

We've all seen what happens when misinformation is used to bludgeon us into submission or reactive division and violence. So, what can we do? Well, our rule is if we can't verify something we read or hear by at least another three or more reliable sources -- reputable news outlets (that may swing left or right, but not extremely), legal precedents, eye-witness testimony (which isn't always the best either), etc. -- then maybe it's not quite true and needs to be dismissed or investigated further.

It's a lot of work to verify what's true and what's not today. We've tried to instill this in our kids, to verify everything they hear and read about, but it's not easy and takes a lot of energy and time. And sometimes it feels like a losing battle where we're lost forever in the multiverse of what isn't. But for our kids sake, their health and safety, and their futures, it's worth the time to check.