Lighting Up With Love And Grace

The plan was to throw her a big party when she turned 50, just like she did for me. That one was so much fun: it was the eve of the18th anniversary of when my wife Amy and I met, and our 12th anniversary of marriage. We held it in the banquet room of one of our favorite Mexican restaurants at the time. Friends and family alike were there and we had booked the local iconic Surfing Magician perform for the kids and the adults at my party.

Then last year, the pandemic hit, and everything was never the same. We went out to dinner for Amy's birthday then, the last time at that time we could do something like that for months. 

A year later, things are finally improving. After the tragic loss of over 500,000 people, more people are now getting vaccinated for COVID-19. Cases are going down in many areas, including our own. Our two daughters may be going to back to some in-person school soon; they've been in distance learning for nearly a year now. No matter what, we're grateful because we've been safe and well. We're grateful that we would've been in the position to even have another birthday party. 

However, when we entered 2021, it was clear that there would be no big party for Amy. No Surfing Magician, no friends and family, no carefree laughter. In a country that continues to buckle under the crazy strain of conspiracy theories, the big election fraud lie, the Capitol insurrection on January 6 (which continues to haunt and anger me), the anti-maskers who jeopardize health and safety, there are still so many people struggling financially and with their emotional and psychological health and safety. So many people feeling helpless and alone. 

This is why I'm so proud of my wife and the work that she does. And not just the work she does teaching safety skills to kids and teens at Kidpower or the work she's done on the PTA for our grade school. I'm proud of how she's helped to keep our daughters healthy and sane these past 12 months. How she's helped organize our family-friend pod so the girls could continue to see and play with some of their friends while giving the parents a little free time each week. How she continues to reach out to friends and family to check in with them, sometimes across great ideological divides. How she set up a regular Zoom call with family to reconnect, to play games and share carefree laughter. 

My wife inspires me every day to be better. To lead with eyes of love and acceptance, something I have done and can do quite readily, until I don't do it, defeated. But I keep coming back, and she's there to love me, always.

She deserved to have a celebration of her life at 50. So, I did the next best thing we could do during a pandemic. Set up a surprise Zoom call birthday party for her. For nearly two months I invited old and new friends, family, colleagues and other special people in her life to a virtual celebration on her birthday. I tried to contact everyone I thought should be invited, although I'm sure I missed some people. For those who could make the call, I loved watching Amy light up with love and grace as she talked to each and every person, taking the time to introduce them all. And then, the lighting up with love and grace culminated at dinner with our dear family-friend pod and lots of carefree laughter. 

Happy Birthday, my love. I am grateful for you, always.