For a few forever moments we weren't sure what was going on until we got close enough to make the turn. What we saw was a police action going on just a few blocks away, which is why the traffic was so slow. Amy told me to make an illegal left, which I did, so we could skip the backup where the streets were blocked ahead of us. Otherwise, Amy would've called the teacher, got out and started walking, while I figured out how to wind around and double back.
Thankfully we didn't have to do that; we still got to our children on time to pick them up. The art class was held outside at one of our lovely community parks, primarily due to COVID-19 concerns. Once we got there, our daughters Beatrice and Bryce told us there was scary situation that happened while they were there. A woman, most likely homeless and mentally ill (we assumed based on their description), was yelling and wandering around too close to where they were. In the general vicinity there are quite a few people experiencing homelessness, living in tents and campers, with many in desperate need of mental health services.
"She kept saying things about God and Jesus," Beatrice said. "But like she was mad."
"Yes, it scared us," Bryce said. "So we moved."
The art class teacher told us that our girls wanted to move away from the yelling woman, so they did just that until she left the area.
"That's exactly what we want them to do," Amy said. "It's definitely part of our safety plans."
Prior to this incident, we had already talked with the art teacher about our Kidpower safety skills and plans, including some of the following:
- Moving away and checking first with their adults if they are on their own before they let a person or an animal they don’t know well get close to them (or thinking first if they don’t have an adult to check with)
- Moving out of reach if something or someone might be unsafe
- Making a safety plan for how to get help everywhere they go
- Checking first with their adults before they change their plan about what they are doing, where they are going, and who they are with, including people they know
- Understanding that the safety rules are different in emergencies where they cannot Check First
- Yelling and running to safety if they are scared
- Using self-defense skills to escape and get to safety in an emergency
Our daughters know these safety skills quite well, so we were proud to hear that they used their voices and said they wanted to move away from a seemingly unsafe stranger. This is so important as they spend more and more time on their own, heading headlong to teenage-land and going back to in-person school after a year of distance learning. That in turn will lead to more opportunities to potentially experience harassment and bullying from people they do know, and eventually dating angst.
I read recently that around the world, almost 1 in 3 women have experienced physical or sexual violence at least once in their lifetime, according to a new report released by the World Health Organization. Also according to the report, intimate partner violence was the most prevalent form – and it starts early. Nearly 1 in 4 girls and women who'd been in a relationship have already experience physical and/or sexual violence by age 19. I've been a harassment, domestic violence and sexual assault awareness advocate for many years, and I worry about statistics like these, but we also don't want our daughters living in fear, or us for that matter, which is why we review our safety plans every week in our family meetings.
We are the safetyists, after all, and living our lives being calm, confident and aware is where the cool kids are.
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