Relationships That Travel Well

"You get annoyed so easily," Bryce said. "You both do."

Our youngest was talking to us, her mom and dad. She said this because we got snippy with our oldest Beatrice for always taking too long to choose something to eat and drink while we were on vacation (and just in general). Bea always needs more time to choose since she's a vegetarian, and we understand that. 

Bryce doesn't need more time to choose, because she's not a vegetarian, but she can be really picky about what she eats and how she eats it. Sometimes when she orders food she's like Sally from When Harry Met Sally -- "And I'd like it all on the side, please." She also gets really "hangry" when she's hungry and picky, which did annoy us a few times on this vacation. 

Both kids were actually pretty good the entire trip and the family grump level was low overall considering how much we make the kids go, go, go and do, do, do. This after traveling over 13,000 miles, most of which was the long flights to London and back. Overall, it was a two-week trip of planes, trains, automobiles, buses, and taxis to and throughout the UK and Ireland. This trip also included about 90 miles of walking over two weeks, an average of seven miles per day. Our kids didn't walk all 90 miles, but they did do most of it. 

As I mentioned in my last piece, there are no greater companions in the world than my family. No more how great, though, the snippy grumps happen between all of us, including between mom and dad, my wife Amy and me. It all comes with the travel territory when vacationing together as a family. Or when we're just living together 24/7. Which is all the time. 24/7.

After over 25 years together and many destinations under our belts, Amy and I can definitely get snippy with each other when traveling, especially when it comes to:

1. How early to get to the airport, which for Amy is never early. She'd prefer to get there at not necessarily the last minute, but without a lot of sitting around time. I prefer earlier than later, just to have wiggle room if something goes wrong. (We compromise nicely on this one now.)
2. Directions, which in full transparency, I'm not the greatest at, even with the Maps app and GPS. We can walk or drive somewhere, and then if we did it again, I would still second-guess which way to go, even with GPS.

In regards to number 2, during the last leg of our trip in Ireland, we decided to rent a car and drive ourselves around. Before this trip, the one and only time we drove on the other side of the car and road was in Australia back in 2018, and we ended up doing okay with the driving. So, we did it again in Ireland. 

This time there were a lot more roundabouts than in Australia (at least it seemed that way), which actually are quite efficient compared to stoplights. The problem (for me) was which exit to take. The Maps app would tell us specifically which exit to take, but when Amy drove I told her to take wrong one a few times. In my defense, the Maps exit number didn't always match the exits on the roundabouts we took, but I was still wrong most of the time. That frustrated her to no end and I finally stopped commentating. Kind of.

I did the same thing when we used Maps while walking around, and it took me over a week to figure out that the little flashlight-like directional glow coming off the blue dot was like a compass reminding us to keep following the right blue-line directions. Again, in my defense, Maps and GPS can freak out and give incorrect directions, but most of the time they were correct. And I was not. Amy and I are still a good team and we get to where we're going. 

Yes, we all get grumpy traveling together (and living together). However, there's a nuance to the mom and dad travel and everyday life grumpies that sometimes our kids mistake for fighting. Amy and I have been together for over 25 years now and we know each other very well. Of course we've had our share of disagreements, even a few serious fights, but we also like to tease each other where it sounds like we're grumpy, but we're really not. They're just one part of our long-term relationship terms of endearment and this came up with our kids during vacation.

"You guys get annoyed so easy," Bryce again reminded us. "Are you fighting now?"

"No, Bryce, we're teasing each other this time, but we can get snippy with each other as you've already seen on this trip," Amy said. "The difference is we always work it out no matter what."

"We don't always agree, but we know how to compromise," I added. "And of course we love each other very much."

That was my queue to give Amy a kiss. 

"Ugh, stop it!" both girls cried out. 

Then I kissed her again.

We hope someday they'll have their own loving and elastic relationships based on trust and compromise. Those are the relationships that travel well.