Freedom to Celebrate

The ride attendant called out over the loudspeaker if anyone wanted to get off the ride. I feebly raised my hand and the ride slowed to a stop. I'm sure my face was sickly white and drenched in sweat. The ride was called the Lobster and it was a multi-armed metallic monster that turned round and round, faster and faster, and the cars we were strapped into along each arm also turned round and round, faster and faster. 

We were at Magic Mountain in Southern California a couple of hours from where I grew up in the Central Valley. I was 11 years old at the time and my sister was 9. She also rode the Lobster ride with me but didn't get sick like I did. I realized then rides that went round and round would make me motion sick every time, and I would never be an astronaut. Ever. Sigh.

However, roller coasters were my jam, as the kids say. Not sure if the kids still say that, but still, roller coasters were and are my jam. At that same park in Southern California in the 1976, the Revolution was a new roller coaster at the time that had one full upside-down loop, and I loved it. After that, I always went on all the coasters. 

My wife Amy and I have lived in Santa Cruz for nearly 27 years now and we've loved having an amusement park in our own backyard -- the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. Our kids have loved it, too. Now teens, we all go to the Boardwalk multiple times every spring and summer. Our youngest Bryce likes the rides that go round and round, faster and faster. Ugh. Our oldest Beatrice can handle some of those, but Amy's with me on those; she gets motion sickness and can't do them. Nor can she handle many roller coasters or faster virtual motion rides. The kids can, but only Bryce will ride the Giant Dipper with me. 

The Giant Dipper at the Boardwalk is the 5th oldest working roller coaster in the U.S. today. It's fast and fun and just turned 100 years old. We were at the 100th birthday celebration last weekend that included a big fireworks spectacular. Bryce would've ridden it with me, but instead was off with friends riding a round-and-round ride called the Fireball (blech), Bea was on the beach with her friends running around, and Amy sat with some of our friends on the beach waiting for the fireworks. I wanted to ride the coaster, so I waited in line for the Giant Dipper with another friend of ours and one of her kids.

The fireworks started while we waited in line, only two train loads away from riding, and we worried we'd miss them. But we didn't! The fireworks exploded above us when it was our turn to ride the old wooden roller coaster. It was fantastic!

I even had time to run back to the beach and give Amy a big kiss during the fireworks finale. So grateful to live where we live and not think twice about going to an amusement park and hanging out with family and friends. The freedom to celebrate our community. Especially when there are so many places around the world that don't have the same freedoms. 

Blessings to those who sacrificed their lives for our freedoms this Memorial Day Weekend. Amen. 

Rocked Our Socks Off

Five minutes before all the rest of the rowdy concertgoers were let in, me and my friends got to rush the stage. That's because one of my good friends with us at the time had an uncle who ran security at the concert venue. It was only a 5-minute lead, but that was plenty of time to get right in center-front of the stage. Moments later the crush of everyone else hit us and shoved us up against the railing. We were fine, adrenaline pumping, and couldn't wait for the headliner to start. The opening band was After The Fire, a British new wave rock band known for covering the song "Der Kommissar," but that was about it. I remember people throwing things at the band, which wasn't cool, and the band yelling at the audience to stop.

After a short break that felt like forever, the headliner took the stage. It was the rock band Van Halen (with David Lee Roth) on their Diver Down tour. I was 16 years old. It rocked my socks off. 

That was my first concert and I'll never forget it. The irony for me was that my first concert could've been my long-time favorite band Rush on their Moving Pictures tour the year before, but that didn't happen. I just wasn't quite the fan yet back then that I became soon after. But Van Halen wasn't some meager consolation prize -- it was rock and roll heaven. Another fun fact was that a few years later when Sammy Hagar was singing with Van Halen, it was Amy's first concert. 

Decades later our youngest Bryce got to go to their first concert. Beatrice actually went to her first concert first last year with her mom to see the Jonas Brothers. Both her and Amy really enjoyed it, but because I didn't go, I couldn't really comment on it. 

But for Bryce, I can. We all went to the show and I had never heard of the artist before until Bryce started talking about her and her music. Her name is Melanie Martinez and the kids love her. I mean super love. Her music was moody broody alt pop rock funk -- hard to pin down and yet very listenable and an amazing stage show. She's a multi-platinum artist who doesn't get much radio play, primarily because she cusses a lot in her songs. But hey, the kids are teens now. Beatrice likes the artist too, just not as much as Bryce does.

Bryce bugged us for months to go to Melanie Martinez's concert and we final bought the tickets for the whole family to go. The concert itself was Mother's Day evening, and while it was a late night for a school/work night (and everybody had to get up and go the next morning, no matter how hard Bryce tried to get out of it), we all really enjoyed it. 

Like you do when you go to your favorite musical artist or band live concert, all the fans stood and sang and danced the entire time, and Bryce didn't let up once the during Melanie Martinez's artistic performance. Beatrice mostly stood and knew some of the songs, and Amy and I, being the parents in tow (and there were many parents in tow), sat down multiple times to rest. I even waited in line to get concert merch for Bryce. 

Just like when I saw Van Halen (with David Lee Roth), and a few years later Amy saw Van Halen (with Sammy Hagar), and last year Beatrice saw the Jonas Brothers -- this was Bryce's first concert, and all of our firsts rocked our socks off, something we will never forget. Amen. 

The Mama Bird

Every year we get a mother finch that builds a nest in the eaves above our front door. During the past few weeks, we've gone from nest completion, to eggs laid, to eggs hatched, to baby birds, to baby birds flying. Soon the nest will be abandoned and the birds will live their short lives, wherever they go. 

This year our youngest Bryce named the mama finch Linda. Why, I'm not sure, but it was cute. Finches' lives are fleeting compared to humans, but then again, our lives can be fleeting, too. Watching our kids grow up has definitely flown by, but thankfully we've been mindful enough to embrace all the moments from birth to now. 

My wife Amy and I went on a beach workout together this Mother's Day, one that I do regularly throughout the year. During the walk there were many families on the beach with little kids running around screaming with joy, even with the thick fog blocking out the early summer sun. 

We reminisced about all the times we had our kids on this beach, Natural Bridges State Beach. Of walking from our house, pushing them in a stroller, pulling a wagon full of our beach stuff, and spending the afternoon on the beach. And then carting the tired, whiny kids all the way home again. We wouldn't have changed those trips for anything. 

Things are different now that both Bryce and Beatrice are teens. We still do a lot together as a family, enjoying each other's company and their blooming adulthood. But they are different things than childhood, and instead, they do more things with their friends, like go to the beach, the movies, downtown to shop, and the list goes on. That's normal and we've grateful they have strong friendships in their lives. Friendships we hope they carry with them beyond middle school and school like I've had over the years, and Amy, too. 

Unlike the baby finches who have now grown quickly in the nest above our front door, spread their wings, and are about to fly away to live their short lives, our kids will still be with us for a few years to come. Our kids love us both, but through it all, from birth to babies, to childhood to teen-land, our collective constant has been the mama bird Amy, and for that we're the most grateful of all. 

Worth The Time To Check

Our youngest Bryce came home and told us about a teacher rumor at school. I'm not going to share was the rumor was here, but I worried about its veracity. When I asked Bryce where they heard about this problem, they said it was from other students. 

"How do you know it's true?" I asked.

"Because everybody's talking about it," Bryce said.

"But that doesn't make it true," I said. "And I would be careful not to repeat it because rumors like that can be personally destructive to those they're about." 

"But everybody's talking about it," Bryce said.

"Unless you have it from a verified source, and it impacted your health and safety directly, I would not spread the rumor any further," I said. "If it is a health and safety program, then Mom and I get involved."

"No Kidpower, Dad," our oldest Beatrice said, rolling her eyes.

Our kids groan and shudder when we reference Kidpower, the organization my wife Amy works for, which is all about emotional, social, and physical safety skills for kids, teens, and adults. While they may express annoyance about Kidpower, we've empowered them over the years to be calm, confident, aware, and safe in their lives, which is the Kidpower mantra. 

This isn't directly about that, though. It's about how misinformation starts, grows, and spreads, and how destructive it can be. We all hear rumors all the time. Unfortunately, due to confirmation bias, which is our willingness to believe things because they align and reinforce our world view, means we're horrible fact-checkers. Super horrible fact-checkers. 

In today's 24/7 news coverage across a spectrum of ideological and political divides, it's difficult to ascertain balanced and objective reporting and where the real truths are. Real truths that have also been misused and misinterpreted since the beginning of time for propagandized agendas. Combine that again with today's opinion pieces sprinkled with pixie dust and threads of truth, if that, and the multiverse of what actually is, isn't. 

We've all seen what happens when misinformation is used to bludgeon us into submission or reactive division and violence. So, what can we do? Well, our rule is if we can't verify something we read or hear by at least another three or more reliable sources -- reputable news outlets (that may swing left or right, but not extremely), legal precedents, eye-witness testimony (which isn't always the best either), etc. -- then maybe it's not quite true and needs to be dismissed or investigated further.

It's a lot of work to verify what's true and what's not today. We've tried to instill this in our kids, to verify everything they hear and read about, but it's not easy and takes a lot of energy and time. And sometimes it feels like a losing battle where we're lost forever in the multiverse of what isn't. But for our kids sake, their health and safety, and their futures, it's worth the time to check. 

Breaking Out

Our youngest Bryce first performed on stage in preschool singing Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off". They looked so sweet in a white frilly dress but was very nervous while performing. Like almost going to cry nervous, which was the same reaction they had when first trying out for a theater production. 

Three productions later, and Bryce has more confidence than ever, still primarily performing in the ensemble and taking on small roles. They have auditioned for bigger-smaller roles, so maybe now with the experience they've gotten, Bryce will land one next time. 

Because there will be a next time. Bryce has got the theater bug for sure. Right before opening night of this latest All About Theater youth musical production of Urinetown, I told Bryce good luck, which they again quickly reminded me that saying good luck is back luck, and the correct expression is "break a leg". 

"Break a leg then," I said. "Love you."

"Thank you," Bryce said. "Love you, too."

The musical was a satirical social commentary about class (rich and poor) and corruption and what happens after a 20-year drought when using the "facilities" (toilets) cost money. It was really good; these kids are amazing. Including Bryce!

Another funny musical we watched recently was a high school production The Drowsy Chaperone, a story about a middle-aged, musical theater fan who, feeling "blue", decides to play for the audience an LP of his favorite musical, the fictional 1928 show The Drowsy Chaperone. It's a fun parody of a 1920s American musical comedy. 

And lo and behold, there was our oldest Beatrice working behind the scenes as part of the stage crew. Well, it wasn't a surprise, because we already knew she was helping, and now she has the theater bug, too. She even wants to audition for the next production, whatever it is!

For the past year now, Bryce's introverted love of acting, dancing, and singing has definitely extroverted and increased exponentially. That includes theater and choir. And Beatrice is now enamored with the theater as well (she also has a lovely voice and said she wants to direct, too). We all are enamored with the theater now -- watching Wicked on Broadway during our spring break was quite the experience. We're so grateful to have done that. 

Amy and I may not break out into song and dance for you, but our kids most certainly will. However, if you ever need a drummer...

Never Be Remiss About Missing Out

I didn't realize it was national competition. I only thought it was a local choral festival we were going to. It's probably better that I didn't know, since I agreed to play the drums on one of the songs for the middle school advanced (gold) choir that our youngest Bryce is part of. The song was Nanuma, a traditional greeting song from Ghana. 

It's a fairly simple repetitive beat, a welcoming pattern, which made sense since it is a greeting song. I practiced it for over a month along with my usual drum regimen nearly every night I was at home and not traveling for work. 

Halfway through that month, the choir teacher sent me an email that she had another person to drum, someone who was going to do it in the first place, so I was off the hook. Now, I could've just let it be at that point, and walked away from it. I've had enough work stress of late, so why would I want to stress about performing in front of people for the first time, including both my children, Bryce and Beatrice. Both were supportive, although Bryce might have been kind of mixed about it in the first place. Supportive, but mixed. I mean, I am Dad, and they are teen, so there's that. 

But I didn't walk away. I wrote the choir teacher back and said I'd been practicing and really wanted to do it. She replied excitedly that I should still do it; she thought I'd want to back out. Both my wife Amy and I would also help chaperone the choir event, because after the performance all the kids were going to the Great America amusement park. 

The morning we left for the choir festival, I had to pick out an acoustic tom drum, stand, and sticks from the choir/band room at school to bring with me. I play an electronic kit at home and have never really played acoustic. Acoustics are much louder and the feel is different, even though I have mesh heads at home, which have a give feel like acoustics. 

We all rode the bus to the choral performance, then came the performance itself. I set up my drum and then stood poised sticks in had. The choir took to the risers. The choir teacher hit the piano key for pitch, started waving her hands in the beat count, looked at me, and I started the song. In retrospect, I wasn't actually nervous to perform, just more nervous about being too loud. As the choir sang the lovely greeting song Nanuma, I drummed lightly until the very end when I drove it home. 

And then it was over. Less than three minutes of song overall. It wasn't a big audience, but here were family and friends and another choir in the room waiting. After I was done I sat and listened to the other two songs Bryce's choir sang, which were wonderful. In fact, our middle school choir won gold in the top 10% of schools participating at the Forum Music Festival! 

Not because of my drumming, of course, but I was still proud to be a part of it (and couldn't wait to share with my drum teacher!). Nope, you're never too old to learn new things. Never. We encourage our teens to try new things, to overcome any anxiety about trying new things, and continue to develop the new things they end up enjoying, maybe even loving, like sports, theater, art, music, and more. Just like they're doing now, with theater winning the hearts and minds of both kids (more on that soon). We never want them to be remiss about missing out. 

Imagine That

"...You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one..."

–John Lennon, Imagine

At first, we couldn't find Strawberry Fields, a five-acre landscape in Central Park dedicated to the legacy of John Lennon. Our maps application guided us near it, but not to it directly. Finally after asking a nice woman walking her dog where it was, we found it. 

This chilly spring walk through Central Park was one of the last things we did in New York during our spring break family vacation. When we found the "Imagine" memorial, there was a group of people taking selfies with it, and many others sitting and milling about the memorial, listening to a man singing Beatles songs and playing a guitar. It was lovely really. Cold, but lovely. 

We were very grateful we could again take our family on a trip like this. Our teens, Beatrice and Bryce, really wanted to come to New York again, picking out our first Broadway show Wicked to see. We again visited the 9/11 Memorial, the American Museum of Natural History, the Met, the Empire State Building, and many other NYC sites. Beatrice also helped to pick out yummy places for us to eat. The weather turned cold, rainy, and windy while we were there, but that didn't slow us down. We took the bus in and out of the city from where we stayed across the Hudson River in New Jersey. We took the subway safely to many places throughout Manhattan, and we walked the streets of New York for over 35 miles over 5 days. All the people and the hustle and bustle of NYC did not disappoint. 

As we sat and listened to the musician play Beatles songs in front of the John Lennon memorial, I reflected on one major difference in this family trip than all the others we'd been on to date: we talked with our children about many adult things. They prompted the conversations, too. Ideological. Political. Spiritual. Current events and more. It wasn't the first time we've had these conversations when they're adulting with us, but it was the first time I truly saw them as the young adults they're becoming, with more clarity than ever. 

Everything that John Lennon represented (and still represents) -- peace, love, empathy, acceptance, and especially social activism -- I see in our children (and us), which was why our adulting conversations this time were so awakening for me. His ideology isn't for everyone, but it is for those of us who want a more loving and empathic world, and we look forward to our children helping to de-polarize the dark conduits of hate today. 

Imagine that. We most certainly can.