Baby B is between two worlds

I know a woman's body is only flesh and bone

A woman's body is only flesh and bone

How come I can't let go?

I'm between two worlds

I said oh yeah, I'm out of my mind

I'm between two worlds

--Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

I have no idea what Tom was really thinking of when he wrote those lyrics back in the early 80s. Probably not about pregnancy. But when I heard it in my mix last week when I was running, it got me thinking about where we've been and where we're at.

This is one of my favorite pictures from our wedding almost five years ago now. Amy's father, Carl, lovingly delivered the ceremony and married us. We wrote our own vows as well, and every October 11 we go down to the place where we met on the beach almost 11 years ago and read those vows to one another.

But what were we thinking in that picture? It certainly wasn't about having children. No, that would take another four years to evolve.

And here we are. Thirty-eight weeks pregnant. Amy started maternity leave a few days early last week, because when she woke up Wednesday morning, she said to me, "I don't want anybody touching me and I don't want to touch anyone." That's difficult not to do when you work in physical therapy.

No worries, my dear. It's time to relax with the relaxin and chill out. It could be anytime now. We set up the birthing tub in Baby B's room and our midwife gave me home birth kit just in case something happened and I had to birth the baby.

Are you kidding me? Well, I'm not cutting the nails. I told you that. (Don't worry, folks. Kathe will be here.)

Baby B is between two worlds. In fact, next to death, I believe being in the womb is the closet we ever get to heaven. In that ethereal place where stars collide and worlds are born, the spark of human life is tethered to mother and the heart of the universe, the very heart of God.

It's exciting that someday we can tell B he/she was born at home in his/her very room. So come out right and on time, you little honey B.

Mama A and Daddy K plan a ba-cation on limited leave

Months ago I began to worry about our maternity leave and what we were going to do after Baby B was born. Mama A wasn't too worried and thought we'd have at least four months. I wanted six. It wasn't until we investigated further that we realized you have to have a masters degree in calculus to figure out accumulated vacation time combined short-term disability combined with health care benefit payments not covered beyond month three combined with not having job security beyond month four.

We're fortunate to have full benefits when many folks are losing them, but the restrictions about maternity leave and benefits are mind-bending. We're also a couple who needs a dual income in order to raise a child, and when it came to decide how long Amy would work until maternity leave, the above stipulations pretty much sealed the deal for us. Work until the end of August and then start leave to maximize the time off with baby. I plan on being at home the first two weeks for a ba-cation and then working 50/50 between the main office and home. (Hopefully Baby B ain't comin' early.)

According to an article I read in The Christian Science Monitor online titled Maternity leave: Expectant moms wait 'til the last minute:

In France, expectant mothers receive six weeks of maternity leave before the birth and 10 weeks after. They are required to take at least two weeks before and six after. In Finland, women receive 17.5 weeks of maternity leave. They can begin as early as eight weeks before their due date or as late as two weeks before the expected date. Other European countries offer similar policies.

And the guys at DadLabs went to Sweden to check out what's available to dads for paternity leave. Would you take 80% of your salary for 60 days of paternity leave?

Hell yes.

In the U.S. – The federal Family and Medical Leave Act allows for 12 weeks of unpaid leave during pregnancy or after the birth of a child. This applies to expectant fathers as well as mothers. The law, however, excludes companies with fewer than 50 employees.

And isn't helpful when families can't afford to lose income for any extended period of time in the first place.

The CS Monitor article also states:

Call it the American way of maternity. Eighty percent of pregnant women who work remained on the job until one month or less before their child's birth, according to newly released Census data for 2003. In 1965 that figure was 35 percent.

Most women work until close to their due date for two reasons: They need the income and they want to use their maternity leave after the baby arrives.

That's the reality and we'll be fine, but man, paying higher taxes to subsidize more leave and child care for both parents? Call me crazy but I'm on board for that.