You Can't Out-Fuss Dad

It's genetically impossible for me to not be fussy. At least initially depending on the situation and what's being asked of me by my family. Thankfully there have been more times in the past decade where I can just go with it, whatever the "it" is, and not get so easily upset. 

But there are many more times still when my initial reaction is "no, we can't do that because" or "no, I won't do that because". It's not an "angry" upset per se; it's a frustrated upset due to my binary operating system of "yes" and "no", with the "no's" usually winning. My wife Amy says it's because I don't like being inconvenienced. She's not wrong. Especially if I've got my mind set on doing something my way, and I'm asked to think about and do something another way, especially when it's a better way. 

For example, I bought a new drum kit (Happy Father's Day to me!) and needed to make more room in the garage so I could set it up. The footprint for my last drum kit wasn't going to be enough to accommodate this one. That meant getting rid of stuff that we've wanted to get rid of and moving stuff around that we've wanted to move around. I envisioned a way of doing some of that, but my vision version can be myopic; I just want it done even if it's not the most efficient way. My time is my money, honey. Like when I go shopping: I look, I buy, I'm done -- usually at the first place I look.

Amy's the planning and puzzle master, though. She has a holistic awareness about space, the things in that space, and how they might be organized and reorganized. She had great ideas, I fussed about them and then acquiesced to the fact that we could free up a lot more space with her recommendations, including taking a big load of stuff to Goodwill. At least 2-3 times per year we're donating "stuff" to Goodwill, because then we're buying new stuff (thank you, George Carlin). 

When I do think more holistically, which I can mind you, I do triangulate on various helpful options. I just channel my lovely wife -- and voilà! -- it's magic time. Or, magic drum time in this instance.

I've written about how our car is almost fussier than me. Almost. My fussy has become comedic fodder for me and my family. Both our kids, Beatrice and Bryce, love saying "so fussy" to me when I'm expounding frustrations about whatever. In fact, it's part of our love language; they want me to be fussy because they know I'm not reacting out of spite. Never. Instead, it's fussy-safe and they know how much I love them. 

Now, it's important to note that Amy, Beatrice, and Bryce can all be fussy with each other and me, but as Bryce so eloquently put it recently, "You can’t out-fuss Dad."

You cannot. Ever. Happy Father's Day to me. 

A Fussy Grateful Hybrid

"Goodness, this car is fussier than anyone in our family," Amy said.

"You mean fussier than Dad?" I said.

Amy laughed. "I didn't say that."

"But it's true," I said. 

Amy laughed again. 

"At least it'll keep us safe with all the warning pings, beeps, and buzzes," I said.

"Sure, but we've got to be able to turn them down," Amy said, fiddling with the new touchscreen dashboard.

Is she talking about the new car or me? I thought.

We hadn't had a new car for nine years. Didn't think we needed a new car after nine years. But our last car of nine years was having transmission issues after hitting over 100K miles. Transmission issues that two dealer trips and three AAMCO trips later gleaned no answers for us. 

It was a 2017 Santa Fe Hyundai. We loved that car. Took our whole family a lot of miles safely for most of those nine years and had really low maintenance overall. At least until the transmission started acting up. For a few years we towed a trailer camper, and while our Santa Fe was technically able to tow the trailer, it probably put excessive strain on the transmission. 

So, it was time to get a new car. After a couple of test drives, we really liked the new Hyundai IONIQ 5 electronic vehicle (EV). The EV hi-tech world we're just now experiencing is a story for another time, and in the meantime, we love it. But it pings, beeps, and buzzes a lot of warnings, all the time.

Watch out for the things in front of you!

Watch out for the things to the sides of you!

Watch out for the things behind you!

Don't forget the passengers in the back seats!

Don't forget the passengers in the front seats!

Don't forget to live your life to the fullest and be grateful for every moment!

Okay, that last one isn't a real car warning, but it is how we roll as the kids say. Not sure the kids say that anymore, though. Our kids don't, but I certainly do.

Amy's fussy new car joke fits me perfectly, however. I'm the "no" dad. The dad who fills up quickly with fussy angst and says:

No, we're not doing that. 

No, I'm not doing that.

No, we aren't going there.

And then more pings, beeps, and buzzes like the new car:

Watch out for the things in front of you!

Watch out for the things to the sides of you!

Watch out for the things behind you!

"Dad's getting fussy again," I can hear my kids say as I write this.

Maybe I am fussier than our new EV. Dang. Well, at least I'm a fussy grateful hybrid. A used one with a lot of miles, but always grateful for every moment.