From Patches to Magic Glasses

"Her vision overall is good," said the eye doctor.

It was our latest visit with him with Bryce, and he went on to tell us that her close-up vision is pretty normal, but it's her long-distance eyesight that struggles and when her left eye wanders out. That's when the brain-eye wiring shuts down on that side, what we need to correct.

So from patches to magic glasses Bryce goes. She continues to struggle with exotropia, a vision problem where one eye migrates outward and binocular vision can be difficult. Wearing an eye patch for one hour each day for a few months helped a little, but not enough.

We were worried about her actually wearing the glasses. After an initial fitting the Mama brought Bryce home with her new peepers and the initial reaction was "no."

As in, "I don't want glasses!"

That's why we dubbed them magic glasses, and in a sense they are -- lovely little pink frames with transition lenses that darken in sunlight that will hopefully eventually help strengthen that left eye.

The morning after we brought the glasses home, the idea was to have Beatrice wear the magic glasses so that when Bryce woke up, she'd immediately want her glasses back. And that's exactly what happened.

"My glasses!"

Right on. So far, she's never looked back (or "looked" better). Thank goodness it didn't take a long time for her to fully acclimate. Yes, she fights a little here and there, but the key is that they're helping her see better, and she's "seeing that the more she wears them. The Mama had to get the glasses adjusted one more time to fit tighter around her ears and on her nose and lose the head strap, but her magical specs are now spectacular.

Add that to the fact that both girls love throwing rocks and playing with big trucks and now we have an unconventional yet formidable combination.

Look out world.

The First-Time Disney Win

Imagine walking into a seemingly quiet and comfortable well-lit room.

Then imagine turning on everything in the room all at once: computers, tablets, phones, stereos, TVs, appliances, anything that makes noise when activated.

Then imagine cranking up the volume and speed on each of them all at once while dozens and dozens of people flood the room as well talking loudly with one another and generally just whooping it up.

Then imagine that there's no immediate no way of turning any of them off and no way of discriminating the dissonance.

I imagine you'd most likely want to get the hell out of there. Reminds me of my panic attacks of old.

Unfortunately this is what life has been like for Beatrice since early on (called auditory processing disorder, which is a big-bucket spectrum disorder that's not fully understood).

So you can only imagine what it was like the moment we passed the Disney Pearly Gates with both Bea and Bryce for the first time. It freaked Bea out. And with good reason. It can freak out any child (or adult) without any processing challenges. She didn't run, though. Not literally. Just more a "deer in headlights," fingers in ears and wanting to leave. After the first 30 minutes she warmed up nicely, adapted accordingly, and was ready to go for the Disney gold.

Her coping has improved dramatically since turning three, starting preschool and now in pre-K (next year starting kindergarten), loving to socialize with all her friends, loving her teachers, and going to speech and occupational therapy. She's learned to adapt and adjust more regularly, something I wish I could've done as a young adult through my 20's, spending way too many years allowing anxiety to crush my very soul.

Plus, she's smart as a frickin' whip.

But the noise and inability to filter and process quickly is still overwhelming to her sometimes and that's when Bea plugs her ears and wants to bolt. I felt bad because my expectations for both girls at Disneyland slightly exceeded the reality of how at least one-half would feel.

The good news is that they both had a ball no matter the moments Bea battled, and that's what the Mama and me counted on. Bea's come a long way, baby. Bryce? Well, she is and has been more adventurous to date, boldly riding more rides with the Mama and me than her older sister. Either way it was a first-time Disney win for the girls.

What was it like for us you ask? Besides being a little tired from awkward shared hotel room sleep, hiking all over the parks while pushing the girls along in their "limo" stroller and the Mama carrying Bryce (they did walk as well, but not the entire time), eating too much junk food and dealing with individualized meltdowns -- it was magical.

It really, really was.

Crossing the Disney Pearly Gates

From Daddy then...

...to Mommy and Daddy on their honeymoon...

...to Daddy after a recent conference...

...to the B-hive crossing the Disney Pearly Gates for the first time very soon...

...stay tuned....

Smell My Finger

Bryce held up her finger.

"Smell my finger," she said to the Mama.

"No, I'm not going to smell your finger."

Bryce sniffed her own finger and shivered, a comical sour frown in full bloom. 

I laughed. "What's wrong with your finger, honey?" 

"Stinky," Bryce answered, and then immediately went back to playing the iPad Dora Explorer game.

I don't want to know, I thought. I shook my head and yawned. Both the Mama and I were tired and "schloggy" -- schloggy meaning slow-motion foggy heads from being woken up at 11:00 p.m. by Bryce -- and not even because of the pre-New Year's fireworks already popping outside like gunshots.

Maybe that's what woke her up. But it's usually due to the fact that she didn't pee before night-night or she had a bad dream. Whatever the case, this has been a recurring waking "bad dream" for us for months now.

Bryce wakes up, seemingly every other night, comes in our room and then sits and/or squats at the foot of our bed and sighs and cries until we wake up. Sometimes I put her back to bed, but usually it's the Mama who has to get her settled again, which can range from 15 minutes to over an hour depending on Bryce's disposition. 

I can usually go right back to sleep, although it really breaks the normal sleep cycle for both of us, and it's really disruptive for the Mama, bringing the schloggies on full force. Combine that with the fact that both girls wake up really early between 5:30-6:30 a.m. (after 6:00 is rarer).

Bryce's wakefulness has been a pattern for months now. With the exception of last night, this week we were lucky because we had a streak of three nights in a row without interruption, with both girls sleeping sounding until morning. 

We've been told that it's normal neurological toddler development, although Beatrice wasn't nearly as wakeful and is a really good sleeper now. This latest cycle is haunting because Bryce was a nighttime nightmare from about 12 to 18 months old.

It really takes it's toll because we're more wakeful now feeling like she's right there crying and whining.

In our heads. Ack.

This too shall pass, but here we are again, a disruptive ghost of no-sleep past...sigh. We do love our B-hive no matter what.

(As we nod off to the schloggies...)

Here, smell Bryce's finger. Wait. Don't. 

Happy New Year!

B'eaming From Ear To Ear

"Let's go see Santa!"

Beatrice and Bryce were thrilled to bits to go see Santa this weekend. They didn't have long lists, but they did have their burning single requests ready to singe Santa's fluffy beard.

We arrived at Marini's Candies in downtown Santa Cruz, where Santa has had a regular gig for many years, and the girls lit up like Christmas stars. They immediately found themselves on each of his knees, smiles beaming from ear to ear.

And what made Santa beam ear to ear? When we told him we were just at an assisted care facility, one of the ones my wife works at delivering physical therapy, where we helped share a little Christmas cheer with the mostly older women patients suffering from varying degrees of dementia.

But that was the Mama and Daddy sharing proudly. What the girls really wanted to tell Santa was what they wanted for Christmas.

"That's a very nice thing you did today, girls," said Santa. "The nice things you do helps me do my job and give back to children all over the world."

The girls kept smiling; Bea looked a little nervous while Bryce was giddy with delight. We took pictures and encouraged them both.

"So, what would you like this year?" Santa asked Beatrice.

"Um...a Chuggington train for my tracks," Bea answered.

"And what would you like?" Santa asked Bryce.

"A space station!"

Santa laughed.

Right on, Girls. B movers and shakers. Always.

The Blech with the Blessings Year Round

"I'm so excited for Christmas! I'm so excited for Christmas! I'm so excited for Christmas!"

Exclaimed Beatrice, excitedly.

"Me too!"

Echoed Bryce, excitedly.

And so it goes with our little girls at the holiday helm. The Christmastime magic is upon us, like a warm blanket on a cold winter's morn. We've actually had our share of frigid mornings recently here in Santa Cruz, with a cold snap leaving our cheeks and bums a chapped cherry red.

Just like ol' Kris Kringle, who the girls got to see this weekend at the downtown Christmas parade.  Santa rode by in his white carriage, pulled by two gorgeous steeds.

"Look, here comes Santa!" exclaimed the Mama and Daddy, excitedly. The girls bounced in place.

"Is that Santa's deer?" asked Beatrice as Santa approached.

"Reindeer? No, those are horses."

"Oh, yes," Bea said, and then laughed.

And there was 50% off giant candy! (See if you catch that one.)

Although, there is the little issue of not sleeping for Bryce, or more accurately, waking up at 3:00 am seemingly every other night, which we're told has more to do with neurological development than holiday magic. Bryce tip toes into our room and sits at the foot of the bed, talking just loud enough to herself for one of us to wake up and hear, and then she takes forever to get back to sleep. This happened with Bea, too.

Blech. Sleep deprivation just so happens to be an serial rite of parental passage from child to child. Bea wasn't so bad, but Bryce from 6-18 months about drove us both bonkers, awake nearly every hour and every night for months and months.

However, you take the belch with the blessings year round with kids. And there are certainly plenty of B's in our blessings around here.

This is why I'm thankful: my angelic muses carry with them a special kind of perpetual Christmastime magic.

And so does Daddy. Amen.

"I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual. It is surprising how contented one can be with nothing definite -- only a sense of existence." 

--Henry David Thoreau 

Thankful for My Muses and Christmastime Magic

This is why I'm thankful: my angelic muses carry with them a special kind of perpetual Christmastime magic. The kind that casts imperfections into unique heartmeld spells of empowered adaption and inspiration. The kind that lights the world around me like triple suns rising one after the other, helping me make life-lesson connections I never would've seen before. The kind that guide me to be a better father, a better husband, a better man.

Muse Bryce has a fire in her belly that dwarfs even the Mama Muse's daily motivation. Her first year of preschool has gone well so far, even with her aggressive edge of reactive smacking, something we're working on. We're also still dealing with her exotropia -- a vision problem where one eye migrates outward and binocular vision can be difficult. This includes putting an eye patch on her right eye for one hour per day, since her left eye is the problem child. Hopefully early next year we'll find out it's helped, but this doesn't seem to slow her down; her belly fire only burns brighter, a dissonant dragon of do.

Muse Beatrice has a wonderful shy sensibility and sensitivity to those around her. Even with her processing delays, which she continues to work on and overcome, her intellect and grasp of concepts greater than her current age at normal development speeds is exciting -- especially since kindergarten is starting next year. In fact, her storytelling ability is more creative and rich than ever had at her age, and I was certainly an imaginative introvert as a child. She also has an eye for flexible patterns and design, something conveyed in her storytelling, as if she's working through problems unseen even by us. And of course, there's her Daddy love of Christmas, one that warms my heart and soul, us both longing for the holiday.

The Mama Muse has always been my primary sun burning bright who's prescient flares caress my surface daily, reminding me that no matter how harsh and cold things can get, it's the warming reaction of sunrise that makes all the difference. I've known that for 16 years since the day we met that one special day at the beach, the same date when we married six years later (this year being the diamond 10 celebration). Plus, falling in love again and again doesn't hurt.

And then there's the Nonna Muse, my mother-in-law, the Mama's mom, who lives with us and is a blessing to the girls. And then there are the other  muses I celebrate -- my sister, my sister-in-law, my niece, my Aunt Karen and Aunt Margene, and the much missed spirt of my own mother, whom I lost this time last year. And then there's the countless other female family and friends from then to now who I've learned much from. (Gentlemen, I'm still digging your influence, no worries.)

I'm blessed to have so much inspirational light from girl power and am thankful for muses and everyday Christmastime magic that feel like the warm sand from one day at the beach.

Us men need mucho more musing. Amen.