Once again, Daddy K tells a birth story.

That Bryce Canyon sunset, when rustic hoodoo spires fired slow in burnished twilight, and her unborn spirit swept across our hearts' expanse. ~In reference to our May 2007 Southwest road trip

Do you remember watching one of those farm birth documentaries on PBS when you were younger, and the miracle of the foal being born was so amazing and crazy strange?

Well, it's got nothing on a live human birth. At home. In your own bed. With your own Mama wife and newborn.

After getting second and third opinions on the blood clot fights, the plan was to stay home and not go to the hospital. (We had researched and planned all this the first time as well.)

As my dad says, "God willin' and the creek don't rise."

This time God was and the creek didn't rise.

Saturday, August 21, 2010, 2:15 a.m.

I'm standing over the crib stroking Bea's arms to soothe here and I know I have to go.

Beatrice had been up since 1:00, primarily because of her cold and snotty nose, but also because she knew something was up.

Because our midwives had everything under control with Mama, it was up to me to tend to Bea if she needed it.

She did. Lots of it. She just couldn't go back to sleep and I had to stay in there so she wouldn't wail. She couldn't hear anything coming from our room; we keep a fan going in their for white noise and have been doing it since before she was born. (We dig it too.)

But she was obviously unsettled and aware of what's coming.

Mama had been in active labor since around 12:30 and the motion of the womb ocean was climaxing to a category 5 hurricane.

Things were moving fast and I was missing it.

I stroke Bea's arm one more time and whisper:

"I love you, baby, but I have to go help Mama."

As soon as I'm in our room, Bryce is entering the earth's atmosphere for the first time.

Of course I can't share the intimate details, but I can tell you that earlier she found her baby Zen center as contraction after contraction rolled through her.

Now I'm standing behind Mama on the side of the bed. She grabs my hand with the power of a 10,000 volts, pulls me down towards her on the bed and shrieks:

"Get it out of me!"

That's the final reality of birth, my friends. Guys, we have no idea. Nada. Zip. Imagine passing a hot bowling ball through your urethra.

Mother Mary of God, I think. There's a Bryce coming out of my wife.

You see, the first time with Bea I didn't see. That plan was to be at home as well. If you're interested you can relive Bea's birth story here.

But this one I am seeing, the visual annealing that softens my Y chromosome for an ultimately stronger bond.

Saturday, August 21, 2010, 2:24 a.m.

And then it's done. We're in the moment of tearful Mama holding wet newborn to her breast, the universe expanding the heart and soul ad infinitum.

All 7 pounds, 8 1/2 ounces, and 20.5 inches of her.

Welcome to the world, Baby Bryce.

No one gets to their heaven without a fight. ~Neil Peart

Blood clot fights prompt an eviction notice. News on August 22.

You know when you hear, "Hey, I've got some more warm goo here if you need it," while doing ultrasound after ultrasound in the emergency room for 5 hours, that things aren't working out the way you planned.

That was last Sunday.

Rewind from that to the Thursday before and that's when Mama's leg started to hurt with a specific spot all swollen and red.

And then roll forward again to early Sunday morning and we're off to the emergency room.

At first it was a supposed abscess in Mama's leg. That's what the emergency room doctor thought. Turned out not to be the case.

Sunday mornings aren't for watching your 38-week pregnant wife's leg being cut into. Nope, not by a long shot.

Then the doctor ordered more vein scans and a few hours later the OB on call came to the conclusion that we were dealing with borderline dangerous blood clots requiring heating pads and bed rest and eventual anticoagulants before birth if necessary and definitely post birth. No more midwifery or home birth.

What the -- ? You've got to be kidding.

Flip over to Monday afternoon when we got a second opinion from another OB seconded even by another specialist that everything was in much better shape than what the hospital OB told us.

Thank goodness to Godness. No prose can come close to expressing the level of distress we experienced, especially Mama.

But fast forward almost a full week from emergency room trauma and she's been feeling much better. We both are. My mother-in-law was a tremendous help as well this week keeping life as seamless and sane as possible for Beatrice and us. (How many guys can say that about their mother-in-laws?)

I had hoped for a Friday the 13th birth yesterday (even though Bryce isn't due until August 22), but no go. Mama's more than ripe and more ready than ever, though.

After all the blood clot fights, what are the legal and moral ramifications of giving your unborn child an eviction notice?*

No hate mail or phone calls, please.

*Credit for the eviction notice schtick goes to Adriana 2.0. Thank you.

Giving birth: the most natural phenomena on earth

To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

Genesis 3:16

I don't believe God really did that as punishment for Eve's sin, but the men who wrote it wished God had. The part about ruling over women was definitely an earthly, manly mandate. That's been pretty evident for a long, long time.

This post isn't to argue original sin; it's to talk about giving birth, one of the most natural phenomena on earth.

Prior to the early 1900s, giving birth at home was the normal thing to do (yes, mortality rates were higher, I know, but still). In the early 1900s, women began going to the hospital because modern health care at the time made huge strides in reducing the mortality rate and improving the likelihood that mom and baby would live to see another day. However, the medical community consisted of men who in turn wanted to increase the ease of functional delivery for themselves – things like complete sedation for the woman, strapped down in a bed with restraints with feet hiked up and locked into stirrups.

Today, if most births are normal, vaginal births due to the advances of prenatal care, then why is the cesarean rate in America upwards of 40%?

Most of you know we've planned a home water birth with our very capable midwife Kathe (who by the way corrected me about her visual aids not being from the 1970s – just kidding Kathe!), but I can't tell you how many times people go right to the horror stories when I tell them we're having a home birth.

"Oh my God, my niece had a home birth and it ripped a hole in the space-time continuum, along with tearing her perineum and her neighbor's as well, and the amount of blood and evil inter-dimensional beings was horrific..."

Really?

I even received a response of late that we're more concerned about our feelings, and not Baby B's health, because we wanted a home birth.

What the – ?

We're not having a home birth to burn incense, sing kumbaya and pat ourselves on the back. No, we're having a home birth solely to have a more natural and safe experience for mom and baby (with a certified midwife) the way God and millions of years of evolution intended (yes, I can reconcile both and do).

But just in case, we do have a plan B. No worries there. And you can have great prenatal care with a midwife instead of an OB – and we did both. We're also in a community that embraces midwifery including the local medical profession. A qualified midwife can identify breech well before early labor even starts and if they can't adjust the little bugger, plan B starts early.

Our midwife has attended over 1,200 births and only a small percentage has had to go to the hospital for whatever reason.

We watched a water birthing video the other night with our doula called Birth into Being (definitely not for everyone). A Russian spiritual midwife recorded five water births, some of which were women giving birth in the Black Sea. (Yes, I had visions of Jean Auel's books, The Mammoth Hunters, but no, we're not running down to the water to birth by the lighthouse where we met to be spiritually romantic in 55 degree water.) Water birth can help soothe the mother's labor and the baby comes right out of the water once it's born. And if all goes as planned, Baby B will be born in its very own room.

For those of you keeping score at home, here is more information from a great mainstream site – the American Pregnancy Association:

Home birth might be an option for you if:

1. You are having a healthy, low-risk pregnancy

2. You want to avoid episiotomy, cesarean section, epidural and other interventions

3. You want to be surrounded by family and friends

4. You want to be free to move around, change positions, take a shower, and eat or drink freely during labor

5. You want to enjoy the comforts of home and familiar surroundings

Home birth is not for you if:

1. You are diabetic

2. You have chronic high blood pressure, or toxemia (also known as preeclampsia)

3. You have experienced preterm labor in the past, or may be at risk for preterm labor now

4. Your partner does not fully support your decision to give birth at home

Most midwives will bring the following with them the day of delivery:

1. Oxygen for the baby if needed

2. IV's for mom if she becomes dehydrated or needs additional nutrients

3. Sterile gloves, gauze pads, cotton hat for the baby, drop cloths, waterproof covers for the bed, a thermometer, a pan for sitz baths after birth

4. Fetoscopes or ultrasonic stethoscopes

5. Medications to slow or stop a hemorrhage

6. Special herbal preparations, homeopathic remedies, massage supplies/techniques and even acupuncture needles

7. Items for suturing tears

In what situations would transfer to the hospital occur:

1. Mom decides to go because she feels exhausted and does not want to continue

2. Premature rupture of membranes

3. High blood pressure

4. No progress

5. Fetal distress

6. Cord prolapse

7. Hemorrhage

Some pointers when considering a home birth:

1. Compile a health care team by hiring a midwife and obstetrician

2. Interview several midwives to discuss their birth philosophy; you may be more comfortable with a midwife who shares your view of birth

3. Write out a Plan B in case a hospital transfer is necessary

4. Hire a doula

5. Ask your midwife if she works with a backup OB/GYN

6. Choose a pediatrician to see the baby within 24 hours of the birth

Home birth perks:

1. Home birth may be significantly easier on your pocket book. An average uncomplicated vaginal birth costs about 60% less in a home than in a hospital.

2. Home birth provides immediate bonding and breastfeeding. Early breastfeeding helps mom stop bleeding, clear mucus from the baby's nose and mouth, and transfer disease-fighting antibodies in the milk from mother to baby.

3. Home birth allows you to be surrounded with those you love. When you include children, family, and friends in the birth process, it provides you with many helpers and allows a very intimate bonding experience for everyone involved.

Mama A at Home in the Tub

Amy loves the water. Half of her work week is spent in the physical therapy pool working with patients and the other half of her home week is spent in the tub!

So it’s not surprising that when we discussed how she wanted to give birth, she wanted to be at home with a midwife and preferably in a birthing tub.

Hey, I love her, and because I ain’t the one giving birth, she’s got my vote no matter we decide. And there’s no better progressive birthing place in the world than Santa Cruz. No, we haven’t joined a coven, a cult or a commune. No worries.

Over 90% of births in this country are normal vaginal births (did I just write that?). But sadly cesarean rates in the U.S. have exceeded 40% by some counts. 40%.

Yes, there are emergencies when cesareans are absolutely necessary. My sister’s first birth was very difficult and she had to have one (and her second was scheduled). Amy’s good friend Danielle also had to have two.

That being said the incidence of cesarean is still unnecessarily high and the reasons include:

1. Low priority of enhancing women's own abilities to give birth
2. Side effects of common labor interventions
3. Refusal to offer the informed choice of vaginal birth
4. Casual attitudes about surgery and cesarean sections in particular
5. Limited awareness of harms that are more likely with cesarean section
6. Providers' fears of malpractice claims and lawsuits
7. Incentives to practice in a manner that is efficient for providers

You can read more detail of each here. Don't get me started about Pitocin and the other drugs.

Today an old friend and colleague emailed me and recommended that we watch The Business of Being Born, which we already had watched a few months ago. Another amazing and unsettling account of what it’s like giving birth in this country and the benefits of going with a midwife for a home birth (and we really like ours!).

While we’re certainly not naïve enough to neglect the potential dangers of giving birth at home or in the hospital and know that anything can happen at any time, we’re confident that we’ve made the right choice.

Just say midwifery out loud. It’s like a cool breeze.

Midwifery.
Midwifery.
Midwifery.

Ah, now I float away...