Curbing the Bluto-Bloat

Beatrice said I sounded like Popeye. The Sailor Man. The old cartoon from the 1930's that I watched in syndication growing up in the 1970's. Popeye the pipe-smoking protagonist who loved his sweetheart Olive Oyl and protected her against his nemesis Bluto, the bully who was constantly trying to take her away. Popeye was always the underdog until he ate his supercharged superhero food: a can of spinach. 

Yes, kids. Eat your spinach so you can grow up to be big and strong...I didn't think either of our kids had ever watched Popeye. 

"Do you know who Popeye is, Beatrice?" I asked her. 

"He's a pirate," she said. "You sounded like a pirate."

I got so tickled I nearly spit up. I thought that was the funniest thing I had ever heard. Both our kids, Beatrice and Bryce, laughed because they realized why I laughed.

I caught my breath and said, "Nope, not a pirate. A sailor. Literally, 'Popeye the Sailor Man'. Toot-toot. That was the theme of the old cartoon." I say it for them. 

"They both sailed the seas, Dad," Bryce said.

I snorted laughter. "True, but Popeye was a sailor, not a pirate. Now, do you know what made Popeye big a strong?"

I waited. It was now clear they didn't really know the Popeye cartoon, but I wouldn't stop this comedy train.

"Fish?" Beatrice said.

"And beans," Bryce added.

Another round of laughter between the three of us.

"What? Sailors eat fish," Beatrice said.

"And wouldn't you have cans of beans on a boat?" Bryce said.

I couldn't stop laughing. It was just so funny to me. So sweet and honest. 

"Oh my, kids. That's so funny. No, Popeye would eat a can of spinach, get big and strong, handle the bad guy, Bluto, and save the girl, Olive Oyl."

"Spinach?" Beatrice said.

"Are you mansplaining Popeye, Dad?" Bryce said.

More laughter. The whole thing just kept cracking us up. I love these kids! It's since become an ongoing joke for us, what Popeye eats to get super-powered strong and fight the bully Bluto, instead of spinach. For example, I'll ask what everyone wants for dinner, and I'll hear the kids call out:

"Fish and beans!"

Goodness, we need more of this levity today. In a world filled with bullies and worse, sometimes I don't think there's enough supercharged spinach, fish, or beans in the world to curb the Bluto-bloat. 

But our kids give us hope that there is. And laughter, too. Toot-toot. 

Dump Free

If I had water in my mouth, I would've sprayed it everywhere. My wife Amy and I were on our way to the 51st annual Wharf to Wharf race when she said something that cracked me up.

"After we park and walk, there will be plenty of time to use one of the porta-potties," I said. "We always have to pee before we start the race."

"Ugh. I hate the porta-potties because everybody always has to take a big ol' dump before the race, and then I get that one."

God, that was funny, because she's also not wrong. I seem to find those, too. I guess we don't have to look down when we enter a porta-potty, but we always do. (I'll bet you do it, too.)

The Wharf to Wharf Race is a super-fun annual10K race that goes from the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk to the Capitola Wharf and usually attracts over 15,000 people. The race donates proceeds to Santa Cruz County youth sports and running programs. We've done it for many years together, and I think I've participated in it myself for 15 years now (the earliest I documented the race here was the 2nd year I ran it in 2008). I ran this 10K race until 2014, because that's when I hurt my knee and couldn't run or walk it that year (I had knee surgery that year). 

After that we mostly walked the race each year. During the covid years when there was no in-person race, we did our own 6-mile hikes and tracked them on their app. We did try to run again a little last year for the big 50th year, but that was rough on my legs. This year, we walked. One of the fun parts of the race is that there are live bands and other musical groups sprinkled throughout the race route. Good times! 

After we parked downtown and walked to the Boardwalk before the Wharf to Wharf race started, we approached the infamous porta-potties. I smiled thinking about Amy's "everybody always has to take a big ol' dump before the race" comment in the car.

"You know, they should have dump-only porta-potties," Amy said. 

I chuckled. "Yes, and pee-only ones, too."

We laughed and stood staring at the dozens of porta-potties for a few seconds. So many people and so many dumps, I thought. 

"I'm going to go," I said. "What about you?"

Amy looked at them and said, "Yes, I guess I'll go." 

Afterwards, as we headed to the race starting area, I gave her a big smile. 

"Any dumps in yours?" I asked.

"No! Dump free! What about you?"

"Same!"

And then we were off to start another Wharf the Wharf race. Good times!