Thanks to Mom (and me)

I listened to the future with my back to her and smiled. I didn't want to disrupt my oldest daughter Beatrice as I sat and worked. My wife Amy sat next to her for support while Bea sat in front of the computer answering the virtual interview questions about attending a leadership camp in the summer. Her answers were effortless and delivered with a confidence I hadn't quite expected, but wasn't surprised to hear. 

Thirty minutes earlier I had picked her up at school and she was stressed about the interview for leadership camp. She'd had a long Monday at school that day (Monday's were always a long day for her), and like her father, was full of anxiety about the interview. But unlike her father, she talked through things, looking at the event to come from all vantage points, asking me questions about what they might ask her and how she should respond. So we role played on the way home and practiced her answers. 

Beatrice role played again with her mom when we got home. As I listened, I noted the differences between mom and dad; the fact that mom's demeanor was softer with empathy-laced words that embraced Bea like a supportive hug. 

It's not that I can't be that supportive, but I've always had sharper edges to my approach -- it's either this way or that way; yes or no; black or white. And that's okay, because we both love and care for our children and are supportive in our own ways that our children are grateful for and respond to. 

I listened to the future with my back to her and smiled. Beatrice has always aspired to be a leader, something I was dreadfully afraid of when I was 13 and in 7th grade. I could tell the interviewer was impressed with Bea's maturity and her thoughtful answers. I didn't even have to see my wife's smile to know how she felt, miles wider than mine, the warmth of her pride filling the room with celebratory love. 

She's the mom who's always there for our daughters. Always helping them with their school work and extracurricular activities. Always empowering them with social, emotional, and physical safety skills. Always helping them with friendship issues interpersonal relationships. Always knowing where all the stuff is when all of us ask where is all the stuff. Always making sure they eating healthy at home and everywhere we go. Always helping them understand their changing minds and bodies. Always helping me understand their changing minds and bodies. 

Amy is also always encouraging them to challenge themselves to learn, grow, and be the leaders they're becoming. Yes, I respond in kind, but she's the mom who does it all -- she's the inclusive executive leadership to my old-school middle management, and I love her for that. In fact, our youngest Bryce concurred at the end of our weekly family meeting on Mother's Day by saying, "Mom's the leader -- oh, and Dad does stuff too and takes care of the finance stuff."

Later in the day I said to Amy, "You are the leader, you know. Happy Mother's Day."

She kissed me and said, "We're a team," and I love her for that, too.

The week before Beatrice rocked her virtual leadership camp interview while we listened to the future and smiled. The future thanks to Mom (and me).